I finally got a great night sleep last night....a full eight hours and it's amazing how much of a difference it makes! When I woke up I had a lot of energy and I actually didn't have a hard time getting out of bed. When I did I had some coffee and did some emailing that was necessary. I saw a few weeks ago that Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons were coming to town, so I figured I'd ask my oldest sister if she thought it was a good idea if I bought tickets for my Father and I. She said she thought he'd love it....so I bought them kind of compulsively. I sent him an email kind of demanding that he go with me and he was thrilled:) I'm actually super excited because the song "December of '63" is probably one of my favorite "oldies" of all time, so it should be a fun time!
This morning after I took my shower I folded the laundry from yesterday and then I had to cut the cheese I was going to bring to work. It didn't take me that long to do at all and it ended up being a really easy item to take. Of course I was late for work and I'm not even sure why. Honestly though, I wasn't more than 5 minutes late to work so I didn't feel that bad. It ended up not being that busy of a night until the last two hours of course! I did feel like I was getting a lot done and I hope I can just leave it all behind me while I'm on vacation. I do have to call a co-worker about a last minute detail tomorrow, but it's not a big deal.
After work was done I came straight home and my boyfriend was already there. He had some bad news because he drove my Mother's car home from his mechanics and it turns out that her car died about 5 minutes from my house. He felt so bad that he bought me roses! I told him that he should have bought my Mother the roses....not me! Anyway, the car overheated and he's not sure why. I think the car is just old and wants to die....I haven't decided what to tell my Mother yet, if anything. I mean what would be the harm in not saying anything until closer to when she gets back home? My boyfriend feels so bad he is already coming up with ways to fix one of his vehicles so that he could give the spare one to her.
Once the whole car drama was done my boyfriend and I went to our favorite watering spot for some drinks and wings. I was very much looking forward to tonight because I knew it would be one of our last nights together before I left to see my Mother in Florida. Unfortunately half way through the night my inner conscious decided to get annoyed with the fact that he hasn't made any move on this relationship since he decided to call it that almost two years ago. I simply stated the truth....that a year ago when I heard his favorite song on the radio I used to get really excited and now it's not so exciting anymore. I fear that I'm over the entire thing the same way I've been over so many relationships in the past. I guess I just thought this one was different....when I first met him it just seemed so right....but here we are almost two years later and he doesn't seem to have any interest in marrying me. It's so hard because I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong.
Then again I think of my OCD and I wonder if that's what is causing the hesitation. I mean, there are some people I graduated high school with who have been married and are on their second proposals. Me, however, has never had one. There has to be....I mean there must be something wrong with me. I guess the thing that frustrates me the most is that a year ago I was so willing to jump into marriage with my boyfriend and now I almost feel the complete opposite. It's as if all the special that their was between us has been sucked out because I feel if he really wanted me he would have made me his months ago. Ugh, listen to me talk, this is so depressing. I think I'm just bitter because I've pretty much been in every relationship possible and I thought this was the real deal. With that being said I'm going to bed.
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