I'm slightly embarrassed to say what time I woke up today....okay here goes-it was 1:15pm. I ended up not going to sleep until almost 5am last night and I didn't set an alarm this morning so I just kept sleeping. I had a strange dream too, that I had slept through my doctor's appointment and was panicking. My doctors appointment wasn't until 3pm today so I didn't sleep through it but I didn't have time to shower before I went. I am actually glad that I didn't because after my doctors appointment I decided to go to the mall to look for a leather jacket for my boyfriend's Halloween costume and a shirt for mine. After I tried on all those clothes at the mall the only thing I wanted to do was hop in the shower! I did end up finding a shirt which I think will work for me as well as a jacket for my boyfriend, they were both reasonably priced. I also found some non-Halloween related clothes, even though I wasn't exactly looking for them, just some plain long sleeve t-shirts that I can put on after work. I was a little upset because when I got home from my outing the belt hadn't arrived in the mail so I didn't get to work on my skirt at all today.
I felt like all I did was rush around today because by the time I got home from my outing it was 5:30pm and we had dinner plans with friends at 7pm. I ended up putting a load of laundry in and taking a quick shower which was quite an accomplishment for me because they are usually pretty long. After I got out and got myself together my boyfriend showed up and we were really only five minutes late for dinner! We had a great time, it's really nice to do double dating with people that we both enjoy. By the time we got home it was pushing 10pm and I really had to make cookies for work tomorrow. These cookies require icing but I'm not going to make it until tomorrow morning because I'm really too tired to do it tonight. I've never made cookies like this before they are actually more of a little cake. They are pumpkin cookies with caramel frosting and I hope they turn out good because I was going to make them for my sisters Halloween party. The actual cookie part really wasn't that hard to make, the only difficult part is my horrible hand mixer.
I am slightly upset right now due to a comment that my boyfriend made right before he went to bed. He was brushing his teeth when he noticed the towel he used this morning on the floor which lead into us having a discussion about my towel use. I only really ever use a towel once, then I use it for a hand towel until my next shower. When he uses a towel I usually don't use it as a hand towel at all, I just consider it dirty. He seemed annoyed by this and wanted an explanation. I tried to explain to him that he's just not as careful as I am about not getting the towel dirty. For instance I've seen him before, with the towel on, lean over the toilet to get a Q-Tip all the while half of the towel was hanging in the toilet! After I explained that he said something along the lines of "I can't imagine spending my life thinking about the things you do". Ugh, it really hurt my feelings and I think he could tell but I tried not to make a big deal about it. I can't imagine saying that to someone. He basically made it seem like my whole thought process on life is futile. Sometimes I feel that he thinks I like being the way I am, but it's hard when you don't really have complete control over some of your behaviors. Good for him that he doesn't have a disorder which makes you obsess over every little detail to the point of nausea, but he could at least be a little more compassionate that I do. I will say that for the most part that my boyfriend is very understanding about my disorder and doesn't usually make many comments about it. I also doubt that he realized how mean the comment he made came across. I just can't help but feel slightly hurt over it.
Well I hope I get the belt for my costume tomorrow so that when I get out of work I can do a little more with the skirt. I can't believe that it is going to be Thursday already. I am going to have to get up at a decent time which is why I am going to go to bed pretty soon. I can't be sleeping all day again!
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Day Fourty One.
So I won't lie, blogging has gotten very hard for me to do on a daily basis. I feel as though it might be easier if I thought anyone cared about reading this every day, however I am pretty sure that not many people, if any read this daily. I guess like most things in my life it has turned from being "fun" to being a "chore", which is frustrating because I'm worried I'm not going to continue to write. I have to say that though, for the most part writing the blog is very enjoyable. It's funny because even though I sometimes dread doing it the words just keep poring out; I never run out of things to say. I think I am just going through a phase right now because I have so much going on that this is just an extra step.
Today I got up early to try and get to the food store before work. I folded the laundry I started last night, got myself together, then headed out to the store. It was funny because I thought that it was a really cheap trip to the food store but when I got home I realized I had gotten nothing to really have for dinner....eye roll. Now wonder it was so cheap! Anyway, when I got home I didn't really have that much time so I just put the groceries away then took care of the trash around the house. I didn't get into that much cleaning because I ran out of time. I didn't even sew and honestly I felt I needed another day off. I am secretly hoping that the belt I bought online will arrive tomorrow because I am thinking that maybe I can sew the belt to the waistline which will take care of that issue. The good news is that Amazon.com sent me an email saying that the shoes I bought for the outfit were shipped today so hopefully the arrive in time!
Work tonight was a little different because today was supposed to be my day off but I ended up switching with a woman from work, so I wasn't in my normal place. Every person who saw me had to comment on how I wasn't working in my usual spot! Anyway, it was a nice change to be in a place other than the normal and I'm glad I did it because I learned a lot of things I should have already known about changes to the system. It was a little nerve wracking at times, but I managed to get through the night and hopefully without any mistakes! My boyfriend was at my house when I got home as well because this is a big week for him at work and he's been working late so it's just easier for him to come here then drive home. It was really nice to see him but I think I am getting really used to him being here:) It's just so nice to come home to someone else and not just myself. I think it's time for bed, night!
Today I got up early to try and get to the food store before work. I folded the laundry I started last night, got myself together, then headed out to the store. It was funny because I thought that it was a really cheap trip to the food store but when I got home I realized I had gotten nothing to really have for dinner....eye roll. Now wonder it was so cheap! Anyway, when I got home I didn't really have that much time so I just put the groceries away then took care of the trash around the house. I didn't get into that much cleaning because I ran out of time. I didn't even sew and honestly I felt I needed another day off. I am secretly hoping that the belt I bought online will arrive tomorrow because I am thinking that maybe I can sew the belt to the waistline which will take care of that issue. The good news is that Amazon.com sent me an email saying that the shoes I bought for the outfit were shipped today so hopefully the arrive in time!
Work tonight was a little different because today was supposed to be my day off but I ended up switching with a woman from work, so I wasn't in my normal place. Every person who saw me had to comment on how I wasn't working in my usual spot! Anyway, it was a nice change to be in a place other than the normal and I'm glad I did it because I learned a lot of things I should have already known about changes to the system. It was a little nerve wracking at times, but I managed to get through the night and hopefully without any mistakes! My boyfriend was at my house when I got home as well because this is a big week for him at work and he's been working late so it's just easier for him to come here then drive home. It was really nice to see him but I think I am getting really used to him being here:) It's just so nice to come home to someone else and not just myself. I think it's time for bed, night!
Monday, October 28, 2013
Day Fourty.
I wish I could say I accomplished a lot today, but besides going to work I didn't get that much done. I decided that I needed to take a day off from sewing because I just wanted to give myself some time to really think about the best way to approach finishing the skirt. When I got up this morning I made myself a cup of coffee, perused the internet, then unloaded the dishwasher. I didn't really rush around that much plus I am proud of myself because I didn't have the urge to clean anything. I just wanted to kind of relax a bit. After I took my shower I did start obsessively cleaning the bathroom vanity area. I hate to say this, because it's embarrassing, but I use so much soap that it gets on everything around the whole sink area. Usually I try to keep up with it but if I don't clean the area at least once a week I get a lot of soap build up which can be really annoying to clean up. I did do a pretty thorough job today and it was nice going in the bathroom after I was done work seeing everything look so shiny.
Work wasn't too bad tonight which was good because after this weekend I needed a more quiet day. There were a few things which happened that I am still thinking about a little bit but that isn't that out of the ordinary. Sometimes it can be really hard for me to leave things at work, especially when I have to make a difficult judgment call about something. I end up spending a lot of time questioning how I handled the situation and if I could have done things differently. You would think after over six and a half years it would get easier but it really doesn't.
I was excited to get home because I knew that my boyfriend would be here so I tried to get out right on time. We had already talked about him coming over when I last saw him because he knew he'd be working late tonight for work. When I came in he was sleeping on the couch, however he did get up and we spoke for almost an hour. I decided tonight would be a good night to shower before bed because I have a lot I want to get done tomorrow morning. I really need to get to the food store, of course I'm out of paper towels again! I'm also out of a few other things as well and my day off is Wednesday which is already booking up pretty fast so the more I can get done tomorrow the better. I haven't touched my FACGP scrap book pages since I made them on Thursday night and I keep looking them over wondering if I could make them better. I just can't seem to think of anything I want to add even though I still think they look really plain and boring. Ugh. I'm pretty sure that we're going to be expected to bring them this Halloween party weekend so I'm running out of time quickly! Okay well that's it for tonight!
Work wasn't too bad tonight which was good because after this weekend I needed a more quiet day. There were a few things which happened that I am still thinking about a little bit but that isn't that out of the ordinary. Sometimes it can be really hard for me to leave things at work, especially when I have to make a difficult judgment call about something. I end up spending a lot of time questioning how I handled the situation and if I could have done things differently. You would think after over six and a half years it would get easier but it really doesn't.
I was excited to get home because I knew that my boyfriend would be here so I tried to get out right on time. We had already talked about him coming over when I last saw him because he knew he'd be working late tonight for work. When I came in he was sleeping on the couch, however he did get up and we spoke for almost an hour. I decided tonight would be a good night to shower before bed because I have a lot I want to get done tomorrow morning. I really need to get to the food store, of course I'm out of paper towels again! I'm also out of a few other things as well and my day off is Wednesday which is already booking up pretty fast so the more I can get done tomorrow the better. I haven't touched my FACGP scrap book pages since I made them on Thursday night and I keep looking them over wondering if I could make them better. I just can't seem to think of anything I want to add even though I still think they look really plain and boring. Ugh. I'm pretty sure that we're going to be expected to bring them this Halloween party weekend so I'm running out of time quickly! Okay well that's it for tonight!
Day Thirty Nine.
I am exhausted right now which is weird because work was actually a lot better tonight than it was yesterday. It went by pretty fast and there wasn't twenty things going wrong like what happened yesterday. Some people ordered out and I was so tempted to order as well but I resisted the urge and just had a "Lean Cuisine" for dinner.
This morning I got up a little bit later than I wanted to because ideally I wanted to have a load of laundry in and be showered before my Father arrived. Unfortunately I didn't have time to shower so I at least put the laundry in the washer to get that started. My Dad ended up arriving a little after 11:30am and I made him a cup of coffee then we chanted until he left around 12:15pm. It was nice seeing my Dad and catching up a little bit but it was a really short visit. After he left I hopped in the shower and when that was done I put the clothes in the dryer. I was really stressing because I wanted to get the laundry folded before I went to work because I knew I wanted to work on my Halloween costume a little more tonight. I ended up getting my laundry folded but didn't do that much else. I even forgot to unload the dishwasher so I will be doing that tomorrow morning.
I couldn't wait to get home tonight to see my dog and I was even more excited when I got to my house and found that besides my dog, my sister had left me a portable sewing machine. It was a really sweet and unnecessary surprise, but very much appreciated. I immediately started working on my costume and found the sewing machine really easy to use! Unfortunately making the costume was not that easy. I had cut the pattern for the skirt out last night and I didn't realize how difficult the sewing part of the project actually would be. I wasn't really following the directions because they don't make sense to me so I was just doing the best I could based on the YouTube videos I had been watching. Once I got it to the point where I could try it on I hated the way it looked on me. I hope it's just because I haven't gotten the waistband done, which is causing me the most problems but I don't know if I'm ever going to love it. I am trying to tell myself that this is a one time wear skirt and I don't need to be so obsessive over it. I really don't know why I didn't just buy the costume online. Also I have so many of the ancillary items to buy that the whole thing is just stressing me out! With that being said I'm going to finish this up because I have to get to bed!
This morning I got up a little bit later than I wanted to because ideally I wanted to have a load of laundry in and be showered before my Father arrived. Unfortunately I didn't have time to shower so I at least put the laundry in the washer to get that started. My Dad ended up arriving a little after 11:30am and I made him a cup of coffee then we chanted until he left around 12:15pm. It was nice seeing my Dad and catching up a little bit but it was a really short visit. After he left I hopped in the shower and when that was done I put the clothes in the dryer. I was really stressing because I wanted to get the laundry folded before I went to work because I knew I wanted to work on my Halloween costume a little more tonight. I ended up getting my laundry folded but didn't do that much else. I even forgot to unload the dishwasher so I will be doing that tomorrow morning.
I couldn't wait to get home tonight to see my dog and I was even more excited when I got to my house and found that besides my dog, my sister had left me a portable sewing machine. It was a really sweet and unnecessary surprise, but very much appreciated. I immediately started working on my costume and found the sewing machine really easy to use! Unfortunately making the costume was not that easy. I had cut the pattern for the skirt out last night and I didn't realize how difficult the sewing part of the project actually would be. I wasn't really following the directions because they don't make sense to me so I was just doing the best I could based on the YouTube videos I had been watching. Once I got it to the point where I could try it on I hated the way it looked on me. I hope it's just because I haven't gotten the waistband done, which is causing me the most problems but I don't know if I'm ever going to love it. I am trying to tell myself that this is a one time wear skirt and I don't need to be so obsessive over it. I really don't know why I didn't just buy the costume online. Also I have so many of the ancillary items to buy that the whole thing is just stressing me out! With that being said I'm going to finish this up because I have to get to bed!
Saturday, October 26, 2013
Day Thirty Eight.
Ugh, tonight was a really crappy night at work. It wasn't my usual evening weekend crew due to a couple of people switching out and I didn't like the vibe at all. Even though there was a supervisor there I had to go to another department and get something first thing when I walked in. I don't mean to complain but this was something that the supervisor should have handled and not me while they were still there. Another issue was that the interaction between me and the girl sitting beside me was really uncomfortable. I literally had to raise my voice to her twice because of her making mistakes and/or causing confusion. I just can't stand her lax attitude towards everything she does and her lack of remorse for any mistake that she makes. So due to the fact that the night pretty much blew I ended up washing my hands a lot more than I should have with the harsh soap at work. They are really sore and I am definitely going to put a lot of cream on them before bed.
When I got home I decided to start working on my Halloween costume a little bit and I feel it's going to be pretty difficult. I really don't know anything about sewing and I'm not sure why I thought it would be a good idea to take on such a major project. In other news, I am really missing my dog right now. The house is so quiet and empty when she is not around. My sister is going to drop her off around 5pm tomorrow evening so she will be here when I get out of work tomorrow!
I need to get some laundry done tomorrow and I would really like to get it all folded as well before I have to go to work. I have really been anxious today about the laundry I have to get done and it's so frustrating because I need to realize I'm never, ever going to be 100% caught up on it. I waste so much time obsessing about when I'm going to be able to do laundry that it's embarrassing. I think my boyfriend does laundry maybe once a week if that. He does actually have a lot more clothes than I do, or maybe it's just because he wears everything he owns whereas I am more picky. We spoke on the phone when I got out of work and the poor thing worked until 10pm tonight. I felt so bad because he worked all last weekend and now this one too. Hopefully after this month the work will slow down a bit!
My Father is stopping by on his way up to visit my Mother in the morning so I need to be up at a fairly decent time for that! I guess it would be nice to tackle more of my Halloween costume as well. Actually there are a few more things I have to buy to complete the look, possibly a different costume if this sewing thing doesn't work out! I am super exhausted and I think that's all I have for now!
When I got home I decided to start working on my Halloween costume a little bit and I feel it's going to be pretty difficult. I really don't know anything about sewing and I'm not sure why I thought it would be a good idea to take on such a major project. In other news, I am really missing my dog right now. The house is so quiet and empty when she is not around. My sister is going to drop her off around 5pm tomorrow evening so she will be here when I get out of work tomorrow!
I need to get some laundry done tomorrow and I would really like to get it all folded as well before I have to go to work. I have really been anxious today about the laundry I have to get done and it's so frustrating because I need to realize I'm never, ever going to be 100% caught up on it. I waste so much time obsessing about when I'm going to be able to do laundry that it's embarrassing. I think my boyfriend does laundry maybe once a week if that. He does actually have a lot more clothes than I do, or maybe it's just because he wears everything he owns whereas I am more picky. We spoke on the phone when I got out of work and the poor thing worked until 10pm tonight. I felt so bad because he worked all last weekend and now this one too. Hopefully after this month the work will slow down a bit!
My Father is stopping by on his way up to visit my Mother in the morning so I need to be up at a fairly decent time for that! I guess it would be nice to tackle more of my Halloween costume as well. Actually there are a few more things I have to buy to complete the look, possibly a different costume if this sewing thing doesn't work out! I am super exhausted and I think that's all I have for now!
Day Thirty Seven.
This is my blog for yesterday because I was at my Mother's house last night and fell asleep before I could write anything:( I did not feel very well when I got up yesterday due to womanly issues. It was the worst cramping I think I've ever had and after I took my shower I had to lay down for half an hour before I could continue to get my things together. I feel bad because I really should have called my Mom to let her know I was running behind but I didn't and she was worried about me. I ended up getting to her house around 4pm which was two hours later than I wanted to. Once I was there she didn't seem that angry with me. So, it's always pretty hard for me to be at my Mother's house because it's always a bit of a mess. I would never call my Mom a dirty person but she is older now and has a hard time keeping up with the routine cleaning. When I got there I ended up cleaning up the bathroom counter top because it was pretty dusty and I knew it would drive me crazy the whole night. Sometimes I wish I did have more time there because I would go through the house and give it a really thorough cleaning. It can also be hard because I feel if I start cleaning she will take it the wrong way and feel like I am uncomfortable at her house the way she keeps it which isn't true at all, I would just be helping her out.
At any rate my boyfriend ended up getting there at 6pm and we took my Mom out to dinner to get her prime rib. It all went really smoothly and we had a good time then came home and my oldest sister arrived with her husband. We did some catching up with them and then my twin sister arrived with her husband. Once everyone was there we decided to play a board game which my boyfriend and I couldn't seem to master at all. I was really not that into the game to be honest because for some reason I was exhausted earlier than normal and still not feeling that great. We ended up having cake and ice cream for my Mother and then I went to bed.
It took me a while to fall asleep but once I did I slept really well. I got up around 10am this morning because I had to leave at 12pm to get home. I didn't get to see my other sister because she was coming a little later today. I was disappointed that I wasn't going to get to see her, but I know that I will be seeing her for my sisters Halloween party next weekend so it's not that bad. I ended up leaving my dog with my family because I knew she would just be alone all day and I would feel selfish taking her back with me. It's really hard being here without her though, but she will be back tomorrow! I guess I have to get ready for work now!
At any rate my boyfriend ended up getting there at 6pm and we took my Mom out to dinner to get her prime rib. It all went really smoothly and we had a good time then came home and my oldest sister arrived with her husband. We did some catching up with them and then my twin sister arrived with her husband. Once everyone was there we decided to play a board game which my boyfriend and I couldn't seem to master at all. I was really not that into the game to be honest because for some reason I was exhausted earlier than normal and still not feeling that great. We ended up having cake and ice cream for my Mother and then I went to bed.
It took me a while to fall asleep but once I did I slept really well. I got up around 10am this morning because I had to leave at 12pm to get home. I didn't get to see my other sister because she was coming a little later today. I was disappointed that I wasn't going to get to see her, but I know that I will be seeing her for my sisters Halloween party next weekend so it's not that bad. I ended up leaving my dog with my family because I knew she would just be alone all day and I would feel selfish taking her back with me. It's really hard being here without her though, but she will be back tomorrow! I guess I have to get ready for work now!
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Day Thirty Six.
Today was an absolutely terrible day in the war versus OCD. Work was very busy all morning because some of the systems were down so everything was extremely chaotic. I instantly felt very anxious and I knew it would be a difficult day for me. After work was over I managed to get home around 4:30pm after stopping to get some cash and stamps. I was still on the fence this morning, but made the decision to not go to my boyfriend's house when I got home because I knew it would be very late by the time I got done everything I had to do. One of the first things I did when I got home was to take my dog for a walk and she was so excited. It's frustrating because I took her for a nice walk, but she has been restless all night long. It's as if she can't settle down, I think it's because of all the deer in the neighborhood; they just get her so worked up. I would have thought that after all that walking she would be ready for some resting.
So it's amazing how the weather has only been cold for about 3 days and my hands already look horrible. The usual winter cuts have appeared and they are swollen and very sore. It really is the cold weather and artificial heat which makes the hand washing so much worse on them. I am really going to have to start using hand cream more often again. It just seemed like all I was doing tonight was washing my hands. I was trying desperately to just get to a point where I could not be washing them at least for a few minutes. I did not get to that point until around 10pm when I started working on my FACGP. I was busy paying the bills, taking the trash, going through the mail, and giving my dog a hair cut in the back end area.
So I can't stress enough that my scrap book pages, after working on them for over two hours tonight, look just like something I would have made in the fifth grade. They are so amateur and I really don't know how to make them any better. Last year my sisters and fellow Acorn Club members were Victoria Secret's Angels for Halloween and we hade to design our own wings. That project was really awesome and I was very proud of the way my wings came out. This project seems to be way more difficult for me. Sighs.
So I spoke with my Mother tonight and she was in good spirits! Her 65th Birthday is tomorrow so as soon as I get up and get showered I am going to head on up to her house to spend the day with her. My boyfriend will be meeting me there after he gets out of work as well. I'm still uncertain about which of my sisters I will see because I will only be home for a day due to the fact that I work this weekend. I am a little nervous about what my Mom is going to say about my hands....I just know she's going to be disappointed that they look so bad. Alright, that's all I have for tonight!
So it's amazing how the weather has only been cold for about 3 days and my hands already look horrible. The usual winter cuts have appeared and they are swollen and very sore. It really is the cold weather and artificial heat which makes the hand washing so much worse on them. I am really going to have to start using hand cream more often again. It just seemed like all I was doing tonight was washing my hands. I was trying desperately to just get to a point where I could not be washing them at least for a few minutes. I did not get to that point until around 10pm when I started working on my FACGP. I was busy paying the bills, taking the trash, going through the mail, and giving my dog a hair cut in the back end area.
So I can't stress enough that my scrap book pages, after working on them for over two hours tonight, look just like something I would have made in the fifth grade. They are so amateur and I really don't know how to make them any better. Last year my sisters and fellow Acorn Club members were Victoria Secret's Angels for Halloween and we hade to design our own wings. That project was really awesome and I was very proud of the way my wings came out. This project seems to be way more difficult for me. Sighs.
So I spoke with my Mother tonight and she was in good spirits! Her 65th Birthday is tomorrow so as soon as I get up and get showered I am going to head on up to her house to spend the day with her. My boyfriend will be meeting me there after he gets out of work as well. I'm still uncertain about which of my sisters I will see because I will only be home for a day due to the fact that I work this weekend. I am a little nervous about what my Mom is going to say about my hands....I just know she's going to be disappointed that they look so bad. Alright, that's all I have for tonight!
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Day Thirty Five.
I got to work right on time this morning which was good because it was meeting day and I had to attend this one in particular due to the fact it was about one of the areas I work in the most. The meeting is supposed to be thirty minutes but today the meeting was more like forty five minutes. Some people were getting a little bit upset about the subject matter and that always turns the whole thing into a much longer process. It was an extremely busy day all throughout work today and it made the morning fly by. I ended up not getting out of work until after 4pm and I had to stop at the food store on my way home to pick up taco stuff for dinner which ultimately landed me home a little before 5pm.
I raced around to get my shower done as fast as possible so I would be ready to go shopping when my boyfriend arrived. I was extremely anxious, in fact I still am. It's just that I feel I have so much I have to get done in the next two weeks. To make this clear none of what I have to get done is life or death, I am really just making it all harder than it has to be. I have to finish my FACGP, make my Halloween costume, and bake a whole bunch of goodies for work and my sisters Halloween party. I was going to go to my boyfriends house tomorrow, but it dawned on me that maybe it would be a little to much for me to handle in lieu of everything else. It's hard when he has to work the next day and I don't because I feel pressured to go to bed before I normally would. I figure if I stayed at my house I could probably get my scrap book pages done tomorrow night and have at least one project out of the way. It's just upsetting because I don't get to go to my boyfriends house as much as I'd like and I really enjoy going over there. He said he would understand either way which is sweet of him.
We went shopping together when he got to my place after work and we were out until 8:45pm. We actually did pretty good and got everything I needed to make the main part of my outfit and we also went next door to Target. I was pretty nervous having to go there with him because I was worried about the lecture I was going to get about buying soap. I was in luck today because the Softsoap 56 oz. bottles were on sale for $2.99 a piece! The usual price is $4.89. He didn't seem as aggravated seeing me buy so much soap because it was such a deal! I still hate my trips to Target because nothing makes me more depressed about my OCD than buying gobs of soap. I will say that shopping with my boyfriend is so much better than doing it alone because he keeps everything really light and if I am ever a little OCD about something he always calms me down. We had to make dinner when we got home so that was pretty much all we had time to do. I guess that's it for tonight!
I raced around to get my shower done as fast as possible so I would be ready to go shopping when my boyfriend arrived. I was extremely anxious, in fact I still am. It's just that I feel I have so much I have to get done in the next two weeks. To make this clear none of what I have to get done is life or death, I am really just making it all harder than it has to be. I have to finish my FACGP, make my Halloween costume, and bake a whole bunch of goodies for work and my sisters Halloween party. I was going to go to my boyfriends house tomorrow, but it dawned on me that maybe it would be a little to much for me to handle in lieu of everything else. It's hard when he has to work the next day and I don't because I feel pressured to go to bed before I normally would. I figure if I stayed at my house I could probably get my scrap book pages done tomorrow night and have at least one project out of the way. It's just upsetting because I don't get to go to my boyfriends house as much as I'd like and I really enjoy going over there. He said he would understand either way which is sweet of him.
We went shopping together when he got to my place after work and we were out until 8:45pm. We actually did pretty good and got everything I needed to make the main part of my outfit and we also went next door to Target. I was pretty nervous having to go there with him because I was worried about the lecture I was going to get about buying soap. I was in luck today because the Softsoap 56 oz. bottles were on sale for $2.99 a piece! The usual price is $4.89. He didn't seem as aggravated seeing me buy so much soap because it was such a deal! I still hate my trips to Target because nothing makes me more depressed about my OCD than buying gobs of soap. I will say that shopping with my boyfriend is so much better than doing it alone because he keeps everything really light and if I am ever a little OCD about something he always calms me down. We had to make dinner when we got home so that was pretty much all we had time to do. I guess that's it for tonight!
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Day Thirty Four.
I just posted day thirty three not because I hadn't done it, but because I guess last night instead of posting it I saved it to draft-eye roll! Anyway, today I had to go back to work which I wasn't looking forward to, but it was actually a pretty decent day. I was busy throughout most of it and couldn't believe when I saw that it was time to go. After work I went right home, I just didn't feel like running any of the errands I really should have. When I got home I wiped my shoes off. I really don't know if I can fight the urge this week because where I am working is the best place to pick up any and every germ imaginable. Once that was done and I had a light snack I got right on the elliptical machine which I was proud about! I did a full 30 minute workout and felt great! Unfortunately, I do feel guilty now because I didn't take my dog for a walk like I usually do right after. I just put a load of laundry in and took a shower so, by the time I was done all that it was too dark to walk her. It's also getting colder out so I am going to really have to force myself to walk her right when I get home instead of waiting.
I tried to do a lot of internet research about my Halloween costume tonight which was somewhat productive. I also had a conversation today with a girl from work who sews to get an idea of whether or not I can do make this costume myself or if I should buy it. She made it seem like I can sew it if I can find a sewing machine! While searching online I found a variation of one of the things I needed and quickly wrote it off until my boyfriend gave me a good idea of how to make it work! He really is clever in ways that I am not which I find very exciting.
My dog seemed pretty unexcited about the fact that I just had a Lean Cuisine for dinner tonight. She really does love it when I cook because she knows that she'll get a nice little sample plate. I ended up giving her a rawhide Dingo because she was making me feel guilty, even though she had plenty of dog food to eat! I called my Mom tonight because she had called me yesterday and I didn't have time to talk. Her spirits seemed much better than our last conversation which makes me feel a whole lot better. Her Birthday is this Friday so I will be seeing her soon which is good as well! I also had a few minutes to read some more of "Gone With The Wind" which is amazing so far. I really like that you get so much more of the back story in the book and it is putting pieces together that I have always been interested in and I'm really not even that far in yet.
It's looking like tomorrow will be a busy day at work and after work. My boyfriend is going to come over but we need to go shopping for both of our Halloween costumes, so that should be a slow process since both of us are going to be dragging our feet the whole way. I am going to try to fold the laundry tonight so that I won't have to do that tomorrow which will save me time after work. I am already getting anxious about the fact that after tomorrow the next time I will be able to do laundry will be Sunday. It's really frustrating that I can't just get over this stupid laundry obsession! It's just that Thursday night I am going to go to my boyfriends, Friday night I am going to go home to visit Mom and I work Saturday night....gulp, that leaves Sunday. I feel like by then the pile will be so huge. Maybe I should have just waited until tomorrow to do a load, but by then it would be too much! Ugh, okay maybe I should just stop thinking about this and get ready for bed!
I tried to do a lot of internet research about my Halloween costume tonight which was somewhat productive. I also had a conversation today with a girl from work who sews to get an idea of whether or not I can do make this costume myself or if I should buy it. She made it seem like I can sew it if I can find a sewing machine! While searching online I found a variation of one of the things I needed and quickly wrote it off until my boyfriend gave me a good idea of how to make it work! He really is clever in ways that I am not which I find very exciting.
My dog seemed pretty unexcited about the fact that I just had a Lean Cuisine for dinner tonight. She really does love it when I cook because she knows that she'll get a nice little sample plate. I ended up giving her a rawhide Dingo because she was making me feel guilty, even though she had plenty of dog food to eat! I called my Mom tonight because she had called me yesterday and I didn't have time to talk. Her spirits seemed much better than our last conversation which makes me feel a whole lot better. Her Birthday is this Friday so I will be seeing her soon which is good as well! I also had a few minutes to read some more of "Gone With The Wind" which is amazing so far. I really like that you get so much more of the back story in the book and it is putting pieces together that I have always been interested in and I'm really not even that far in yet.
It's looking like tomorrow will be a busy day at work and after work. My boyfriend is going to come over but we need to go shopping for both of our Halloween costumes, so that should be a slow process since both of us are going to be dragging our feet the whole way. I am going to try to fold the laundry tonight so that I won't have to do that tomorrow which will save me time after work. I am already getting anxious about the fact that after tomorrow the next time I will be able to do laundry will be Sunday. It's really frustrating that I can't just get over this stupid laundry obsession! It's just that Thursday night I am going to go to my boyfriends, Friday night I am going to go home to visit Mom and I work Saturday night....gulp, that leaves Sunday. I feel like by then the pile will be so huge. Maybe I should have just waited until tomorrow to do a load, but by then it would be too much! Ugh, okay maybe I should just stop thinking about this and get ready for bed!
Day Thirty Three.
I got up semi early today because I didn't want to have a hard time sleeping tonight. I decided it would be good to relax a bit and start reading "Gone With The Wind" before I got into doing other things. I read until my boyfriend texted me that he was on the way, which I knew would give me almost three hours before he arrived. I decided to wash the sheets in the spare room first then take a shower. While I was in there I took the opportunity to clean the floor which hasn't been done in a while.
It wasn't long after I was done showering when my boyfriend arrived and I was so glad to see him. We really needed to see each other and we had a very low key evening together. I ended up throwing the big fall blanket in the laundry after the spare room sheets were done also. At least I know that part of the laundry is done for a while! We ended up just picking up dinner because neither one of us wanted to cook or go out. I really had a pretty bad eating weekend so hopefully I will get back to eating well this week and exercising. Unfortunately, I have to get my Halloween costume together at some point and that will take a lot of my extra time!
I don't have too much more to write about tonight. I really did my best to focus on spending time with my boyfriend instead of obsessively cleaning. I didn't want to talk about our previous nights argument even though I had been thinking about it all day. I told him that I promised to be more supportive when it came to his busy work schedule. I really am going to try because I realized how much harder I was making things by selfishly feeling so neglected. It was sweet of him today because when he showed up he surprised me with a pumpkin coffee which made me feel really special. Well, good night!
It wasn't long after I was done showering when my boyfriend arrived and I was so glad to see him. We really needed to see each other and we had a very low key evening together. I ended up throwing the big fall blanket in the laundry after the spare room sheets were done also. At least I know that part of the laundry is done for a while! We ended up just picking up dinner because neither one of us wanted to cook or go out. I really had a pretty bad eating weekend so hopefully I will get back to eating well this week and exercising. Unfortunately, I have to get my Halloween costume together at some point and that will take a lot of my extra time!
I don't have too much more to write about tonight. I really did my best to focus on spending time with my boyfriend instead of obsessively cleaning. I didn't want to talk about our previous nights argument even though I had been thinking about it all day. I told him that I promised to be more supportive when it came to his busy work schedule. I really am going to try because I realized how much harder I was making things by selfishly feeling so neglected. It was sweet of him today because when he showed up he surprised me with a pumpkin coffee which made me feel really special. Well, good night!
Sunday, October 20, 2013
Day Thirty Two.
Today was a very obsessive day. When I woke up this morning I got out of bed to check and make sure my boyfriend had gotten home safely from work. I had a long text message from him saying that he got home safe but that he had to stay in the city and work another day. I was so upset; my disappointment was insurmountable. I crawled back into bed and slept for another hour. I was slightly embarrassed when I went downstairs because I knew I would end up telling my friend and I knew I wouldn't be able to hold it together. After I started the Keurig she showed up and within two minutes I was telling her the story and crying. She was very supportive and made me feel a lot better but I still felt bad being so upset with her around.
We ended up going to lunch a little bit North of where I live because I thought it would be on her way home and I wanted to go to Joanne Fabrics. I finally ended up buying my scrap book paper as well as double sided permanent tape, scrap book scissors, and tea light candles. So apparently the double sided tape might not stick to my scrap book paper because it is a little bit glittery. Grr. If I have to go back to that craft store! Actually I might have to depending on what I want to do with my Halloween Costume.
It was when I got home that the cleaning started. I spent a good amount of time cleaning most of the main hardwood floors as well as the stairs leading up to my bedroom. I then went through the mail and cleaned the downstairs bathroom. I also took the trash and cleaned the floor in the shoe room. Then I put a load of laundry in and took a shower. I have so many things that I want to wash right now that it was hard for me to decide what to do first so I just put my main clothes in figuring they are the most important. I really had to wash my sheets as well so I put those in after I was done with the first load. I still have two more loads to do because I want to wash the sheets in the spare bedroom and the big blanket that I use for the fall which takes up an entire load in itself. I am glad that I have tomorrow off so I can finish up the laundry before the week starts.
I made the pumpkin seeds and just had a Lean Cuisine for dinner because I wasn't really that hungry yet. I am kind of hungry now though. I spent most of the rest of the night working on my scrap book. I am really just working on the photos right now, I haven't put anything together. I have a feeling that my scrap book is going to suck....haha, I really don't know what I'm doing! I didn't really text my boyfriend today for fear that we'd have an argument which would make me feel a lot worse about not seeing him but he tried to call me so I felt I better make contact. We had a horrible phone conversation which made me feel terrible. I won't go into details but I felt like he wasn't understanding where I was coming from and I just looked like a complete monster for not supporting him right now. Maybe I am. I guess that's all for tonight.
We ended up going to lunch a little bit North of where I live because I thought it would be on her way home and I wanted to go to Joanne Fabrics. I finally ended up buying my scrap book paper as well as double sided permanent tape, scrap book scissors, and tea light candles. So apparently the double sided tape might not stick to my scrap book paper because it is a little bit glittery. Grr. If I have to go back to that craft store! Actually I might have to depending on what I want to do with my Halloween Costume.
It was when I got home that the cleaning started. I spent a good amount of time cleaning most of the main hardwood floors as well as the stairs leading up to my bedroom. I then went through the mail and cleaned the downstairs bathroom. I also took the trash and cleaned the floor in the shoe room. Then I put a load of laundry in and took a shower. I have so many things that I want to wash right now that it was hard for me to decide what to do first so I just put my main clothes in figuring they are the most important. I really had to wash my sheets as well so I put those in after I was done with the first load. I still have two more loads to do because I want to wash the sheets in the spare bedroom and the big blanket that I use for the fall which takes up an entire load in itself. I am glad that I have tomorrow off so I can finish up the laundry before the week starts.
I made the pumpkin seeds and just had a Lean Cuisine for dinner because I wasn't really that hungry yet. I am kind of hungry now though. I spent most of the rest of the night working on my scrap book. I am really just working on the photos right now, I haven't put anything together. I have a feeling that my scrap book is going to suck....haha, I really don't know what I'm doing! I didn't really text my boyfriend today for fear that we'd have an argument which would make me feel a lot worse about not seeing him but he tried to call me so I felt I better make contact. We had a horrible phone conversation which made me feel terrible. I won't go into details but I felt like he wasn't understanding where I was coming from and I just looked like a complete monster for not supporting him right now. Maybe I am. I guess that's all for tonight.
Saturday, October 19, 2013
Day Thirty One.
I can't believe that I have been doing this for a month now! Its finally become part of my daily routine, however, it really is a difficult commitment. There are times when I just don't want to blog but I know that I made the decision to do this and I will continue to try my best to not fail. Today was a really great day. We didn't wake up until after 12pm and then my best friend got us breakfast which was really sweet of her to do. After that we pretty much just took it easy and I will say I didn't feel guilty for not doing anything at all. It's actually really exciting being around on a Saturday and watching TV. We watched most of the movie "Avatar" and then we had to get ready to go to dinner and the show. I had to really force myself to not put a load of laundry in but I didn't and I went straight to the shower. I have really been working on not cleaning when I have friends and family over. Spending time with them is the most important thing and I always have plenty of alone time to do those sorts of activities.
Before we went to dinner we made a trip to the food store to pick up another pumpkin carving kit and some wine for later. After dinner we got to the show right on time and it was great. These guys on "Impractical Jokers" are so funny and seem like such real people. It's kind of interesting because my favorite cast member, Sal, must have a little OCD. I first noticed when I watched the show a couple of months ago and he had a bit of anxiety with his friends being in his apartment. I'm not sure of the exact details but I think they might have been re-arranging things and it was bothering him. So tonight they mentioned that he has trouble using public bathrooms and he's deathly afraid of those bugs I don't like to speak about. It's pretty ironic that I was drawn to his character before I even knew that apparently we share something in common. At times I think about what it would be like to date someone with OCD and I'm sure it must be difficult. I really like the fact that my boyfriend doesn't have the disorder because it reminds me of "normal behavior". The one thing I have learned from going to therapy and from my family going is how important it is to make the distinction that my obsessive behavior is not normal. The more normal it is the less likely I will ever change the behavior!
When the show was over we came back to my house and carved pumpkins while drinking some wine. It was really fun. My best friend carved two pumpkins and I only did one because I had to clean the pumpkin seeds. About three years ago I started making Cajun spiced pumpkins seeds and apparently they are a cult classic because this year I am getting requests for them! It's kind of neat knowing that people get excited about something I've created, it makes me feel really special. It has also made it more enjoyable for me making the seeds because I know how much everyone looks forward to them. With all that being said they are a major pain to make!
Tomorrow my boyfriend will be coming back home and it is restaurant week in the city I live in so I was thinking maybe we could go to dinner. I also know he wants to see that new Tom Hanks movie "Captain Phillips" so maybe we could see that as well. I don't know how tired he is going to be though so I hope he gets some sleep after he finishes work this morning. He sounded really nervous about tonight when I spoke with him a few hours ago so I really hope it goes well. That's it for now!
Before we went to dinner we made a trip to the food store to pick up another pumpkin carving kit and some wine for later. After dinner we got to the show right on time and it was great. These guys on "Impractical Jokers" are so funny and seem like such real people. It's kind of interesting because my favorite cast member, Sal, must have a little OCD. I first noticed when I watched the show a couple of months ago and he had a bit of anxiety with his friends being in his apartment. I'm not sure of the exact details but I think they might have been re-arranging things and it was bothering him. So tonight they mentioned that he has trouble using public bathrooms and he's deathly afraid of those bugs I don't like to speak about. It's pretty ironic that I was drawn to his character before I even knew that apparently we share something in common. At times I think about what it would be like to date someone with OCD and I'm sure it must be difficult. I really like the fact that my boyfriend doesn't have the disorder because it reminds me of "normal behavior". The one thing I have learned from going to therapy and from my family going is how important it is to make the distinction that my obsessive behavior is not normal. The more normal it is the less likely I will ever change the behavior!
When the show was over we came back to my house and carved pumpkins while drinking some wine. It was really fun. My best friend carved two pumpkins and I only did one because I had to clean the pumpkin seeds. About three years ago I started making Cajun spiced pumpkins seeds and apparently they are a cult classic because this year I am getting requests for them! It's kind of neat knowing that people get excited about something I've created, it makes me feel really special. It has also made it more enjoyable for me making the seeds because I know how much everyone looks forward to them. With all that being said they are a major pain to make!
Tomorrow my boyfriend will be coming back home and it is restaurant week in the city I live in so I was thinking maybe we could go to dinner. I also know he wants to see that new Tom Hanks movie "Captain Phillips" so maybe we could see that as well. I don't know how tired he is going to be though so I hope he gets some sleep after he finishes work this morning. He sounded really nervous about tonight when I spoke with him a few hours ago so I really hope it goes well. That's it for now!
Day Thirty.
This post is late due to the fact that I was pretty inebriated last night:) I really did make an attempt to blog but it wasn't making sense so I just passed out, it was about 4:30am. My friend got to my house around 8:30pm and we went to dinner then to our favorite bar. It was really nice being out and even better catching up with my friend. We are going to carve pumpkins today and then we're going to a show at the Palace Theatre. Last week I found out these guys from a show that my boyfriend and I watch called "Impractical Jokers" were coming to town so we bought tickets thinking it was on Sunday. Unfortunately we found out that it is tonight and my boyfriend won't be back until tomorrow so I asked my friend if she would want to go. It should be funny!
Work continued to be busy yesterday and I was so glad that it was Friday because I wouldn't have known what I would have done if I had to go to work another day without a day off! I had to run some errands after work which actually went pretty smoothly but I didn't get home until well after 5pm. I was proud of myself because I did not wipe my shoes off when I got home. I did feel like doing a little project so I ended up dusting the blinds in the downstairs bathroom which ended up taking forever but they really need it. It's so hard to dust blinds and I remember growing up that whenever they got dirty my Mom would just buy new ones. The blinds I have in my house are those faux wood blinds which are even harder to dust because dirt gets in the little grooves. At any rate it's done and they look nice.
I ended up speaking to my boyfriend a little bit around 6:15pm last night while he was driving to the city but not for very long at all. I have to say I was a little annoyed because halfway through our short phone call he hung up on me because work was calling. Ugh. It's hard enough that we're apart but then when we don't even speak on the phone it's impossible. I can't even begin to say how much I miss my boyfriend being around and stress free. When we first met he was so happy go lucky and as his role at work has progressively increased his whole demeanor has changed. He just seems so stressed all the time but he promises me that this month at work will be the busiest. I love him so much and he's the person I want to be with so I am really hoping that he is right and that it calms down a little bit for both our sakes. Alright, that's it for now!
Work continued to be busy yesterday and I was so glad that it was Friday because I wouldn't have known what I would have done if I had to go to work another day without a day off! I had to run some errands after work which actually went pretty smoothly but I didn't get home until well after 5pm. I was proud of myself because I did not wipe my shoes off when I got home. I did feel like doing a little project so I ended up dusting the blinds in the downstairs bathroom which ended up taking forever but they really need it. It's so hard to dust blinds and I remember growing up that whenever they got dirty my Mom would just buy new ones. The blinds I have in my house are those faux wood blinds which are even harder to dust because dirt gets in the little grooves. At any rate it's done and they look nice.
I ended up speaking to my boyfriend a little bit around 6:15pm last night while he was driving to the city but not for very long at all. I have to say I was a little annoyed because halfway through our short phone call he hung up on me because work was calling. Ugh. It's hard enough that we're apart but then when we don't even speak on the phone it's impossible. I can't even begin to say how much I miss my boyfriend being around and stress free. When we first met he was so happy go lucky and as his role at work has progressively increased his whole demeanor has changed. He just seems so stressed all the time but he promises me that this month at work will be the busiest. I love him so much and he's the person I want to be with so I am really hoping that he is right and that it calms down a little bit for both our sakes. Alright, that's it for now!
Thursday, October 17, 2013
Day Twenty Nine.
The first thing I'm going to write today is a response for one of my readers about what was wrong with the lettuce from the other night. It was crunchy but not crisp, it was green but the right color green, it had carrots in it but too many and it had entirely too much red cabbage in it! It was like they ran out of lettuce for this last bag and had to fill it up with the other stuff! Anyway it's gone now because we finished it with multigrain nightmare of a dinner Tuesday night which my body is still trying to digest. Tonight we decided to go with Chinese food because we simply both had too trying of a week to make dinner. It was really good tonight too!
Work went by pretty fast today and it was the slowest of all the days this week plus I got a lot done which had been hanging over my head. By slow I mean I was able to actually take a bit of a break to get coffee and eat my yogurt. I ended up being there later than I wanted but it wasn't a big deal because I knew my boyfriend would not show up before 7pm or so. Tomorrow is Friday and I had taken Monday off so I have a nice three day weekend to look forward to. My boyfriend is going to be away on Friday and Saturday night for work so he won't be around but the good news is my best girlfriend will be so we are going to grab dinner. I really haven't spent much time with her lately because she is living an hour away so it will be really nice to catch up.
After work today I tried really hard to not wipe the bottom of my shoes off but I fell victim to the desire. I was pretty disappointed with myself for not being strong enough to resist the urge but hopefully tomorrow I can beat it. I had to get the garbage together for pick up tomorrow but other than that I didn't really have to much time to do any obsessive cleaning. I did put a load of laundry in before I took my shower so I wouldn't have to do it tomorrow. That will be good because I have a few errands to run after work tomorrow in preparation for the weekend. I guess that's it for now, a short post!
Work went by pretty fast today and it was the slowest of all the days this week plus I got a lot done which had been hanging over my head. By slow I mean I was able to actually take a bit of a break to get coffee and eat my yogurt. I ended up being there later than I wanted but it wasn't a big deal because I knew my boyfriend would not show up before 7pm or so. Tomorrow is Friday and I had taken Monday off so I have a nice three day weekend to look forward to. My boyfriend is going to be away on Friday and Saturday night for work so he won't be around but the good news is my best girlfriend will be so we are going to grab dinner. I really haven't spent much time with her lately because she is living an hour away so it will be really nice to catch up.
After work today I tried really hard to not wipe the bottom of my shoes off but I fell victim to the desire. I was pretty disappointed with myself for not being strong enough to resist the urge but hopefully tomorrow I can beat it. I had to get the garbage together for pick up tomorrow but other than that I didn't really have to much time to do any obsessive cleaning. I did put a load of laundry in before I took my shower so I wouldn't have to do it tomorrow. That will be good because I have a few errands to run after work tomorrow in preparation for the weekend. I guess that's it for now, a short post!
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Day Twenty Eight.
I had another really busy day at work today. I couldn't believe it but at one point I looked at the clock thinking it would be 10:30am and it was already 12pm! In the middle of the craziness a weird thing happened today that totally reminded me how you never really know some people. I had answered an angry phone call from a colleague who works in a different area than me complaining about how I hadn't finished something and it was holding up their end of the job. I had questions on what I was doing and wasn't going to complete it until I had a minute to further review the problem and after I explained that to him I still got attitude. I felt really awful after the phone call and spoke with a member of my department who I have never really been that close to and was completely surprised at the response I got. This coworker stood up for me and went directly to the other persons manager and defended me thoroughly. I was so overwhelmed that this person would do something so gracious for me and I will never forget how much this coworker had my back right then.
After work I had it all planned that I would go directly out shopping for the FACGP so that I wouldn't have to stop at home first. Unfortunately I decided to stop home because I wanted to use the bathroom here and not at work:( I put my dog out and did my absolute best not to piddle around to much before leaving again. While I was driving I thought it would be a good time to call my Mother and I was saddened by the fact she was really depressed. It was a really long conversation and I don't think I said anything that she really needed to hear to cheer her up. Then she mentioned how she might want to visit this weekend but I had already made plans for Friday and Sunday night. That would only leave Saturday which really isn't enough time because she usually stays for a couple days. I felt and still feel really bad. It's hard knowing how lonely she is but I try to tell myself that I can't be there for her all the time she needs me to be. Unfortunately I know that lonely feeling all too well because I myself am alone a lot more than I would like.
When we finally finished I went into Michael's and was definitely disappointed with myself for not going back to Joanne fabrics like I had before. I didn't find individual fall scrap book paper there which really annoyed me, but I did get some other things. I will have to get the fall scrap book paper on another trip....maybe the next time I go to Target?! I didn't have any desire to go home and eat a TV dinner so I just went to Panera Bread to get a salad. I hate to say it because I'm not a huge fan of chain restaurants but this one sure does know how to make a good salad. I am slightly addicted to the new "Roasted Turkey Harvest Wheatberry Salad". I won't lie....I don't even know what a wheatberry is....haha. I get annoyed sometimes when I eat at Panera largely in part because I'm scared I'm going to turn into one of those American lemmings who eats only at chain restaurants and goes to chain hardware stores on the weekend. I guess it's a fear of becoming just like everyone else. Hopefully the three people who read this aren't insulted by that statement and if so I'm sorry.
I ate the salad right when I got home and I should add that today was the first day in over a month that I didn't wipe my shoes off after work. I wasn't in a place where I felt I was around a lot of people or germs at work today and I honestly just didn't feel like taking the time to do it. As much as I hate to admit it my obsessive actions take up so much time in my day:( After dinner I took a much needed shower, folded laundry and paid some bills because I knew the next two nights I would be busy. I also went through the mail which was mostly just junk. I usually try to do the mail right after I pay bills because the whole process of going through it just disgusts me and this way afterwards I can wipe everything clean just once. I know I've mentioned how filthy I think mail is so I won't elaborate here! I settled in around 9pm and hadn't heard from my boyfriend until he called me about 50 minutes later to tell me he was just leaving work. Then halfway through our conversation his car broke down. I offered to go pick him up but he said he had to get the car home and might just get it towed. The poor guy has been working so much and I'm so worried about him because now he won't get home until almost midnight and still has to be at work by 7am. I sure hope I hear from him before I go to bed! Oh that's him now, I better run:)
After work I had it all planned that I would go directly out shopping for the FACGP so that I wouldn't have to stop at home first. Unfortunately I decided to stop home because I wanted to use the bathroom here and not at work:( I put my dog out and did my absolute best not to piddle around to much before leaving again. While I was driving I thought it would be a good time to call my Mother and I was saddened by the fact she was really depressed. It was a really long conversation and I don't think I said anything that she really needed to hear to cheer her up. Then she mentioned how she might want to visit this weekend but I had already made plans for Friday and Sunday night. That would only leave Saturday which really isn't enough time because she usually stays for a couple days. I felt and still feel really bad. It's hard knowing how lonely she is but I try to tell myself that I can't be there for her all the time she needs me to be. Unfortunately I know that lonely feeling all too well because I myself am alone a lot more than I would like.
When we finally finished I went into Michael's and was definitely disappointed with myself for not going back to Joanne fabrics like I had before. I didn't find individual fall scrap book paper there which really annoyed me, but I did get some other things. I will have to get the fall scrap book paper on another trip....maybe the next time I go to Target?! I didn't have any desire to go home and eat a TV dinner so I just went to Panera Bread to get a salad. I hate to say it because I'm not a huge fan of chain restaurants but this one sure does know how to make a good salad. I am slightly addicted to the new "Roasted Turkey Harvest Wheatberry Salad". I won't lie....I don't even know what a wheatberry is....haha. I get annoyed sometimes when I eat at Panera largely in part because I'm scared I'm going to turn into one of those American lemmings who eats only at chain restaurants and goes to chain hardware stores on the weekend. I guess it's a fear of becoming just like everyone else. Hopefully the three people who read this aren't insulted by that statement and if so I'm sorry.
I ate the salad right when I got home and I should add that today was the first day in over a month that I didn't wipe my shoes off after work. I wasn't in a place where I felt I was around a lot of people or germs at work today and I honestly just didn't feel like taking the time to do it. As much as I hate to admit it my obsessive actions take up so much time in my day:( After dinner I took a much needed shower, folded laundry and paid some bills because I knew the next two nights I would be busy. I also went through the mail which was mostly just junk. I usually try to do the mail right after I pay bills because the whole process of going through it just disgusts me and this way afterwards I can wipe everything clean just once. I know I've mentioned how filthy I think mail is so I won't elaborate here! I settled in around 9pm and hadn't heard from my boyfriend until he called me about 50 minutes later to tell me he was just leaving work. Then halfway through our conversation his car broke down. I offered to go pick him up but he said he had to get the car home and might just get it towed. The poor guy has been working so much and I'm so worried about him because now he won't get home until almost midnight and still has to be at work by 7am. I sure hope I hear from him before I go to bed! Oh that's him now, I better run:)
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
Day Twenty Seven.
What a horrifically busy day at work. It was so intense that I didn't have time to grab a snack....I made time for coffee though:) There was just one problem after another and a ton to do!
Unfortunately because of that I didn't get home until almost 5pm and that mean't that I didn't have much time before my boyfriend would be over. I did feel I had the time to do a rather quick rush bathroom cleaning. I was pretty annoyed at myself for feeling like I had to clean it right then because like I said I rushed and wasn't very thorough so now I am just going to have to do it again soon. Afterwards I put my clothes in the wash, took a shower and my boyfriend got to my house right after I was done with that. We decided this last weekend that we would try something different for dinner tonight so we got multi-grain pasta with ground turkey and sauce. This meal is pretty much our favorite go to dinner when we use regular pasta and ground beef. Tonights version-not so much our favorite, I mean I really I hated the pasta! It left a really bad taste in my mouth. Don't get me wrong I am all for eating healthy but I'm not sure if I could eat it again. The turkey actually wasn't that bad and I think was due to the fact my boyfriend seasoned it very well because we made Sloppy Joe's with ground turkey before which wasn't nearly as good. I also made a salad with the rest of last nights crappy lettuce which still sucked.
After dinner we took the air conditioner units out of the windows, well, it was mostly him. I knew that it would be a test for me because there's always a lot of window dirt left over. Like expected I got a bit anxious over it and after cleaning the dishes I had to now clean the window and floor. My boyfriend was busy working and that almost made it worse because I had no incentive to stop cleaning. Finally I stopped and it was time to relax a bit and we watched one the 100 Dracula movies which have been made over the years on TCM. I am still trying to come up with a good idea for the FACGP and I was going to go shopping tomorrow for it but I might not have enough planned yet. My boyfriend actually came up with a great idea tonight which was a big help. Alright I guess that's all I have tonight!
Unfortunately because of that I didn't get home until almost 5pm and that mean't that I didn't have much time before my boyfriend would be over. I did feel I had the time to do a rather quick rush bathroom cleaning. I was pretty annoyed at myself for feeling like I had to clean it right then because like I said I rushed and wasn't very thorough so now I am just going to have to do it again soon. Afterwards I put my clothes in the wash, took a shower and my boyfriend got to my house right after I was done with that. We decided this last weekend that we would try something different for dinner tonight so we got multi-grain pasta with ground turkey and sauce. This meal is pretty much our favorite go to dinner when we use regular pasta and ground beef. Tonights version-not so much our favorite, I mean I really I hated the pasta! It left a really bad taste in my mouth. Don't get me wrong I am all for eating healthy but I'm not sure if I could eat it again. The turkey actually wasn't that bad and I think was due to the fact my boyfriend seasoned it very well because we made Sloppy Joe's with ground turkey before which wasn't nearly as good. I also made a salad with the rest of last nights crappy lettuce which still sucked.
After dinner we took the air conditioner units out of the windows, well, it was mostly him. I knew that it would be a test for me because there's always a lot of window dirt left over. Like expected I got a bit anxious over it and after cleaning the dishes I had to now clean the window and floor. My boyfriend was busy working and that almost made it worse because I had no incentive to stop cleaning. Finally I stopped and it was time to relax a bit and we watched one the 100 Dracula movies which have been made over the years on TCM. I am still trying to come up with a good idea for the FACGP and I was going to go shopping tomorrow for it but I might not have enough planned yet. My boyfriend actually came up with a great idea tonight which was a big help. Alright I guess that's all I have tonight!
Monday, October 14, 2013
Day Twenty Six.
When I woke up this morning I couldn't believe that it was time for work again, I really felt like I had just been there. I was actually surprised at how well I got to sleep though, I think it was because of the exercise! Lately when I'm coming off of my evening week I have been having a really hard time getting to sleep when I transition back onto day shift. A friend of my boyfriends told me that if I increase exercise that I wouldn't have any problems getting to sleep and I think he was right! Although I wasn't thrilled about going to work I did have energy and was ready to face the day. It wasn't a bad day at work at all and I learned a lot, like I usually do, which is great.
After work was over I decided to make a quick trip to the food store because I decided I wanted to make a bit of a antipasto salad for dinner and didn't have lettuce. While I was there I decided it would be a good idea to pick up dinner for tomorrow too! See how good I'm getting about planning ahead? Haha, well at any rate this means that when my boyfriend comes over tomorrow neither one of us will have to go out. I think I am planning on Wednesday night to go out and get stuff for the Fall Acorn Club group project, FACGP to be short. I think I mentioned before that I was doing a fall project with my sisters but I forgot to say when we were growing up we started a club called the Acorn Club. Therefore it's the FACGP:) It's so funny because I really hate having to run errands after I get home. I mean especially if you think about the fact it's only Monday and I have am already preparing myself for the Wednesday night errands.
When I finally got home from work I took my dog for a walk around the block which she really seemed to enjoy. I couldn't help but do a lot of cleaning after the walk. I am a little disappointed in myself because my hands are a pretty sore from all the hand washing that goes along with cleaning the house. It seems like after a weekend when I let loose on my obsessions I tend to kind of over react and do a lot of unnecessary cleaning afterwards. I just felt like I needed to wipe my shoes down, then the floor in the hallway, then the floor in the bathroom, then go through the mail, and then I thought my dog was filthy so she got a bath too. She actually was pretty filthy and she had some problems going to the bathroom on the walk which made me really think a bath was due. Then finally it was time for me to take a shower and it was 7:30pm when I finally was ready to start making dinner. Dinner wasn't that great....I really didn't like the lettuce I bought from the grocery store.
I really should have started reading my next book which will be "Gone With the Wind" after dinner but I didn't. I was feeling like I need to veg in front of the TV which is what I did. I watched this series called "My 600-Lb. Life" which is about 4 people who were over 600 pounds in 2004 who decided to undergo gastric bypass surgery. The stories are just fascinating and I think it's a really good show because it really shows how some people can get that large and the negative health as well as mental issues that go along with it. I mean if you fall into bad habits you really can gain a lot of weight fast. My boyfriend called and we chatted for a bit too, it seems like he really had a good day off which makes me happy. I guess that's really all I have for tonight!
After work was over I decided to make a quick trip to the food store because I decided I wanted to make a bit of a antipasto salad for dinner and didn't have lettuce. While I was there I decided it would be a good idea to pick up dinner for tomorrow too! See how good I'm getting about planning ahead? Haha, well at any rate this means that when my boyfriend comes over tomorrow neither one of us will have to go out. I think I am planning on Wednesday night to go out and get stuff for the Fall Acorn Club group project, FACGP to be short. I think I mentioned before that I was doing a fall project with my sisters but I forgot to say when we were growing up we started a club called the Acorn Club. Therefore it's the FACGP:) It's so funny because I really hate having to run errands after I get home. I mean especially if you think about the fact it's only Monday and I have am already preparing myself for the Wednesday night errands.
When I finally got home from work I took my dog for a walk around the block which she really seemed to enjoy. I couldn't help but do a lot of cleaning after the walk. I am a little disappointed in myself because my hands are a pretty sore from all the hand washing that goes along with cleaning the house. It seems like after a weekend when I let loose on my obsessions I tend to kind of over react and do a lot of unnecessary cleaning afterwards. I just felt like I needed to wipe my shoes down, then the floor in the hallway, then the floor in the bathroom, then go through the mail, and then I thought my dog was filthy so she got a bath too. She actually was pretty filthy and she had some problems going to the bathroom on the walk which made me really think a bath was due. Then finally it was time for me to take a shower and it was 7:30pm when I finally was ready to start making dinner. Dinner wasn't that great....I really didn't like the lettuce I bought from the grocery store.
I really should have started reading my next book which will be "Gone With the Wind" after dinner but I didn't. I was feeling like I need to veg in front of the TV which is what I did. I watched this series called "My 600-Lb. Life" which is about 4 people who were over 600 pounds in 2004 who decided to undergo gastric bypass surgery. The stories are just fascinating and I think it's a really good show because it really shows how some people can get that large and the negative health as well as mental issues that go along with it. I mean if you fall into bad habits you really can gain a lot of weight fast. My boyfriend called and we chatted for a bit too, it seems like he really had a good day off which makes me happy. I guess that's really all I have for tonight!
Sunday, October 13, 2013
Day Twenty Five.
Today was a very good day on several levels. We managed to get up at a decent time and we went straight to go to the apple picking farm. So neither one of us wanted to pick apples but we did want to get some pumpkins and fresh cider donuts. We brought my dog with us and the apple farm was so unbelievably crowed that it was hard to even get a parking spot. I was really nervous when we got there because of all the children being around and scaring my dog but she actually did fine. We didn't end up getting pumpkins because we couldn't get our car close enough to where they were so we got them later on at a different place. My dog was surprisingly good around the other animals that were there too, she met a couple of long horn cattle, a turkey and a goat. It was funny because we got there and within 2 minutes my dog had laid a poop so of course I had to pick that up at the very beginning of the day. It wasn't too bad because I used a big trash bag to pick it up so there really wasn't any contact. I will say I couldn't wait to get back to the care to use some Purel though! The apple cider donuts were good but we both agreed they weren't the best we've ever had.
The next stop was to drive up to a park in the area and go for a hike. This was another adventure in which I couldn't believe how many other people had the same idea we did. I wasn't sure what to expect with my dog but she thoroughly impressed me with her hiking skills. She was way ahead of us the entire walk and didn't stop for anything even climbing up a massive set of stone steps! She met a fellow Yorkie named Duke along the way as well as several other dogs and got a ton of attention. Almost everyone we walked by commented on how cute she was. It was so beautiful because the fall leaves were right in bloom plus it was nice getting some exercise! We ended up stopping at a nursery and picking up three pumpkins on the way home.
After we got home my boyfriend made me a delicious "turf and turf" dinner of steak and chicken. He also made these delicious home fry type potatoes with these potatoes we bought at the apple farm. The dinner was just perfect! While he was making dinner I managed to get a load of laundry started. My boyfriend has the day off of work tomorrow which I am glad about because he could certainly use a break. I thought I did a pretty good job of not being too obsessive about cleaning and washing my hands today. Instead I did my best to just try to take it easy and enjoy my time with my boyfriend. That's all for now!
The next stop was to drive up to a park in the area and go for a hike. This was another adventure in which I couldn't believe how many other people had the same idea we did. I wasn't sure what to expect with my dog but she thoroughly impressed me with her hiking skills. She was way ahead of us the entire walk and didn't stop for anything even climbing up a massive set of stone steps! She met a fellow Yorkie named Duke along the way as well as several other dogs and got a ton of attention. Almost everyone we walked by commented on how cute she was. It was so beautiful because the fall leaves were right in bloom plus it was nice getting some exercise! We ended up stopping at a nursery and picking up three pumpkins on the way home.
After we got home my boyfriend made me a delicious "turf and turf" dinner of steak and chicken. He also made these delicious home fry type potatoes with these potatoes we bought at the apple farm. The dinner was just perfect! While he was making dinner I managed to get a load of laundry started. My boyfriend has the day off of work tomorrow which I am glad about because he could certainly use a break. I thought I did a pretty good job of not being too obsessive about cleaning and washing my hands today. Instead I did my best to just try to take it easy and enjoy my time with my boyfriend. That's all for now!
Saturday, October 12, 2013
Day Twenty Four.
So I won't lie....my boyfriend and I slept until 2:30pm today. I couldn't believe it when I looked at the clock, but we did go to sleep at 6am. I will say, we were stirring at around 11am but we both felt so tired still that we just rolled over and went back to bed. I felt bad when I got up because I felt like I had already wasted a whole day. Oh well, when we got out of bed I had to really fight the urge to not start a load of laundry before I showered. I did not do it though because I just told myself that I could do it tomorrow when less was going on. So, my boyfriend and I didn't even know what we were going to do today, but one of the options was to join my Mom, sister and her husband for dinner. I was going back and forth about it, but ended up going up to see them and it worked out really well!
We had to dress up a little because of where we were going and that was okay because I haven't gotten to do that in a while. I really wanted to straighten my hair for the occasion but when I spoke with my Mom I realized the sooner we got up to where she lived the better. I am glad I decided not to waste the time because by the time we got up there they had been at the restaurant for quite a while. I must say it was a very enjoyable time. The drive was beautiful because the fall foliage is brilliant right now and it was just really nice relaxing with the people I love so much. I had made sure to tell my Mom that I was just staying through dinner and driving home because there were things I wanted to do tomorrow. She was okay with that but I will admit it was hard to leave everyone instead of staying. I was really proud of myself tonight because I used the public restroom at the restaurant and handled it pretty well. I did wash my hands for a while, of course, but it could have been a lot worse! We got back home around 10:30pm and watched about three episodes of "Breaking Bad". We are now one episode away from the finale and I can't wait to find out what happens!
Tomorrow I think my boyfriend and I are going to go to an apple farm and get pumpkins. We are also going to try to do a small hike with my dog. I'm not sure if we are going to be able to do both but we are going to try! I will definitely have to do laundry tomorrow. When my boyfriend stays over he leaves his laundry here too so that doubles the amount that I have to do. I really don't mind doing it at all, but it really does make me anxious when I see the laundry pilling up. I guess that's all I have for tonight!
We had to dress up a little because of where we were going and that was okay because I haven't gotten to do that in a while. I really wanted to straighten my hair for the occasion but when I spoke with my Mom I realized the sooner we got up to where she lived the better. I am glad I decided not to waste the time because by the time we got up there they had been at the restaurant for quite a while. I must say it was a very enjoyable time. The drive was beautiful because the fall foliage is brilliant right now and it was just really nice relaxing with the people I love so much. I had made sure to tell my Mom that I was just staying through dinner and driving home because there were things I wanted to do tomorrow. She was okay with that but I will admit it was hard to leave everyone instead of staying. I was really proud of myself tonight because I used the public restroom at the restaurant and handled it pretty well. I did wash my hands for a while, of course, but it could have been a lot worse! We got back home around 10:30pm and watched about three episodes of "Breaking Bad". We are now one episode away from the finale and I can't wait to find out what happens!
Tomorrow I think my boyfriend and I are going to go to an apple farm and get pumpkins. We are also going to try to do a small hike with my dog. I'm not sure if we are going to be able to do both but we are going to try! I will definitely have to do laundry tomorrow. When my boyfriend stays over he leaves his laundry here too so that doubles the amount that I have to do. I really don't mind doing it at all, but it really does make me anxious when I see the laundry pilling up. I guess that's all I have for tonight!
Day Twenty Three.
I thought that today was a pretty decent day....at least until I looked at my hands. I wish I could say it was just because of the cold weather settling in and the artificial heat, but to be honest I've been washing a lot. I got up this morning earlier than I had all week which was good because I just wanted to spend some time at home and get a load of laundry completed before work. I got up in enough time to relax for 1/2 an hour then put laundry in and take a shower. It was nice to be done with that before 12:30pm because I wanted to balance my check book which I did!
After I balanced my check book I found loads more to do around the house and a simple re-arrangement of pictures frames in the living room took about an hour. I just realized it had been quite a while since I had dusted in there! What happened is that I finally bought an 8 x 10 frame which fit the picture that I bought this March from the cruise Mike and I went on. The photo looked great. Unfortunately by rearranging everything on my mantel I realized just how dusty the place had gotten. I spent a good amount of time dusting and organizing, then it was lunch time. I really wanted to fold the last load of laundry I had put in, which I did have time to do and I was happy about. I was late for work because of a stink bug though....it must have jumped on my back when I was pulling the trash cans in (because Friday morning is trash day). I didn't notice it until I was about to put my scrub top on! I am so glad I did notice it because it would have been quite a shock if it had decided to craw out of my shirt when I was at work!
Work went by at a decent rate and afterwards I came home to my boyfriend and dog. We decided to go out and grab a drink which was nice. We didn't stay out too late and I tried not to wash my hands after I got home because I am trying to give them a break. Next week I have a 5 day in a row work week in a difficult spot and I need to preserve them. Well, I guess that's all for today!
After I balanced my check book I found loads more to do around the house and a simple re-arrangement of pictures frames in the living room took about an hour. I just realized it had been quite a while since I had dusted in there! What happened is that I finally bought an 8 x 10 frame which fit the picture that I bought this March from the cruise Mike and I went on. The photo looked great. Unfortunately by rearranging everything on my mantel I realized just how dusty the place had gotten. I spent a good amount of time dusting and organizing, then it was lunch time. I really wanted to fold the last load of laundry I had put in, which I did have time to do and I was happy about. I was late for work because of a stink bug though....it must have jumped on my back when I was pulling the trash cans in (because Friday morning is trash day). I didn't notice it until I was about to put my scrub top on! I am so glad I did notice it because it would have been quite a shock if it had decided to craw out of my shirt when I was at work!
Work went by at a decent rate and afterwards I came home to my boyfriend and dog. We decided to go out and grab a drink which was nice. We didn't stay out too late and I tried not to wash my hands after I got home because I am trying to give them a break. Next week I have a 5 day in a row work week in a difficult spot and I need to preserve them. Well, I guess that's all for today!
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Day Twenty Two.
Is this getting boring? I feel like it is, humm....well I hope not! I am listening to The Killers "All These Things That I've Done". I absolutely love the song, let's face it I really love the band! Whenever I need to feel inspired I listen to them:) I had a really stressful morning today mainly because I had to run to Target. I thought I was ahead of the game because last night I took my shower so I could get right up and go. It turned out to be much harder than I thought it would be to get out of bed....it's just getting so cold! Also my hair was the other issue. It was so matted down because I went to bed with it wet that when I got up I ran a brush through it and I definitely looked like Peggy Bundy from Married With Children, no lie. Imagine taming that! After I got my hair together I had to put a load of laundry in and then I was finally off.
So, here's the thing, I have trouble when I'm shopping sometimes because I don't like to spend money so I will put off making some purchases in order to keep the total down. Then I end up really needing some of the items I didn't get and paying a ridiculous amount of money for them at stores like the CVS or the Food Store. To combat that, now when I go to Target I have trained myself to buy every single thing I need which will ultimately save me money later. It sounds so easy when I write it down like this. I also stopped at Joanne fabrics because my sisters and I are working on a fall project. We are each doing two "fall" scrapbook pages. First and foremost I must say that I had no idea how hard it is to buy two 12 x 12 pieces of scrapbook paper. I have never seen so many choices in my whole life....not to mention all the other stuff you can buy! What I decided to do was go home and design a template of sorts before I end up in the poor house because of all I've spent on this project. I figured I should have some time this weekend to do it. I am actually really excited about this though because I think it's good to put my energy into things which don't include obsessively cleaning my house! When I got home from the store I really didn't have too much time before work so I ate lunch fast and got ready to go. Work wasn't too bad tonight and it went by pretty fast. I had a harder time than usual when I got home cleaning my shoes off because of some work incidences, but I guess it could have been a lot worse.
I haven't spoken to my boyfriend since he left Wednesday morning and we've only exchanged a few text messages. I was really upset with him and for me it's just better to avoid talking to him when I'm angry than to say things I don't mean. I hope that he's not too upset with me, but I really needed a break to calm down and put things in perspective. I feel a little bit better about things now, but still not great. I have no idea what we are doing this weekend, but I think we desperately just need some quality time alone. I guess that's all for tonight!
So, here's the thing, I have trouble when I'm shopping sometimes because I don't like to spend money so I will put off making some purchases in order to keep the total down. Then I end up really needing some of the items I didn't get and paying a ridiculous amount of money for them at stores like the CVS or the Food Store. To combat that, now when I go to Target I have trained myself to buy every single thing I need which will ultimately save me money later. It sounds so easy when I write it down like this. I also stopped at Joanne fabrics because my sisters and I are working on a fall project. We are each doing two "fall" scrapbook pages. First and foremost I must say that I had no idea how hard it is to buy two 12 x 12 pieces of scrapbook paper. I have never seen so many choices in my whole life....not to mention all the other stuff you can buy! What I decided to do was go home and design a template of sorts before I end up in the poor house because of all I've spent on this project. I figured I should have some time this weekend to do it. I am actually really excited about this though because I think it's good to put my energy into things which don't include obsessively cleaning my house! When I got home from the store I really didn't have too much time before work so I ate lunch fast and got ready to go. Work wasn't too bad tonight and it went by pretty fast. I had a harder time than usual when I got home cleaning my shoes off because of some work incidences, but I guess it could have been a lot worse.
I haven't spoken to my boyfriend since he left Wednesday morning and we've only exchanged a few text messages. I was really upset with him and for me it's just better to avoid talking to him when I'm angry than to say things I don't mean. I hope that he's not too upset with me, but I really needed a break to calm down and put things in perspective. I feel a little bit better about things now, but still not great. I have no idea what we are doing this weekend, but I think we desperately just need some quality time alone. I guess that's all for tonight!
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
Day Twenty One.
I seem to have forgotten that some people actually read this thing, because I forgot I promised to write about the articles I read recently. So I will start with that. The two articles were "Some of my Best Friends are Germs" by Michael Pollan (Article 1) and The Opt-Out Generation Wants Back In" by Judith Warner (Article 2). First of all I must say that I liked the germs one better. The article was fascinating because it was all about how scientists are discovering just how important our bodies bacteria can be, you know, all 100 trillion of them:) I'm in a medical field but there was so much information in this article that I didn't realize. What really got to me was how they are linking what we eat in America and European countries to the death of traditional intestinal bacteria which is probably the reason for the increase in chronic disorders such as allergies, asthma, type 2 diabetes and cardiovascular disease! They think the change in intestinal bacteria is because of the antibiotics in our food as well as how processed it is....not to mention how sterile it has become. Another fascinating point the article made was that you get most of your gut bacteria when you are born and pass through your Mother's vaginal tract. It went on to say children who are born by C-Section are not exposed to those bacteria until much later on, which might be the reason why those children's immune systems may fail to develop properly. This will then lead to more allergy, asthma and autoimmune disorders....gasp I was one of those children! So the author of the article was trying to find out how he could change his diet to help his gut bacteria get back to the traditional flora, but I guess most of the scientists were very close lipped because this is such a new discovery they don't want to end up with a bunch of premature information out there which they could ultimately get sued over. They did admit that a diet rich in whole grains, plant fiber and very little meat was probably the best bet.
I won't say as much about the other article, just a few things. It was basically about women who were excelling at their careers and making a lot of money who ultimately quit to raise their children. Now, years later, they are looking to get back into their fields and are having a hard time. I think what I didn't like about the article was that it pretty much seemed like no matter what you do you won't be happy. The women all seemed happy that they got to stay home with their children, but seem miserable now because most of them couldn't find jobs and the ones who did weren't making nearly the same amount as they were. The end of the article basically said if you can keep your great high paying job, but only work part time and raise your children then you will be happy! Who can do that? Ugh, it was annoying me.
So let's see I started my day off pretty grumpy because I was still brooding about the previous nights discovery of my boyfriends horrific schedule. We had an argument initiated by me and that's just a sucky way to start any day. I can be really difficult sometimes and I think the reason is because I just can't hide my feelings. I'm just not going to pretend I'm happy when I'm not. Anyway, without me knowing I ignored his texts all day because it seems my phone is on a 6 hour delay. I was just cleaning up around the house and spending time with my dog this morning because it's her Birthday. I gave her the present which I bought her, then the present my Mom got her, then finally the present my sister got her. She was very happy!
I'm starting to panic because I'm starting to run low on soap so a trip to Target is going to be necessary. This is the hard part which I wish I could stop....it internally pains me when I think about how much soap I went through in only 2 weeks. To be honest I probably went through more soap than most people do in a year. I have never written that statement before and re-reading it is very sobering. That's what this blog was supposed to help though....putting it all out there so I can visualize just how "not normal" my situation is. A few weeks ago I was giving myself limits on how much soap I could use in an allotted time period and I haven't done that recently. That could be my first step....it's just hard. That's the problem right there....it's HARD. This disorder plagues most of my time already and instead of fighting against it, it just becomes easier to go through the motions. I become a victim to the rituals and obsessive thoughts and any progress I have previously made goes right out the window. I just need to put my dukes up and start fighting it back again. I realize it's never going to go away completely, but I need to try harder.
Maybe I do need to go back to therapy or start taking the Luvox that's sitting on my windowsill staring at me...."take me, take me"....is what it's saying. My PCP gave me a prescription for Luvox CR a few weeks ago because when I was first diagnosed I got a sample pack of that and it seemed to help with very little side effects. Unfortunately my insurance didn't pay for it at the time so I switched to the dreaded Zoloft, which I stopped taking after only a couple of weeks. Now that the Luvox is generic my insurance pays for a pretty good chunk of it, but my biggest fear is the side effects. I was only on it for about 4 weeks before, not really long enough to notice the worst one, which is the fact it could probably make a sex addict celibate if they're not careful. These SSRI's are notorious for decreasing libido and the ability to orgasm.
Work tonight wasn't too bad, but it went by pretty slow. I was almost late for the staff meeting and I'm really glad I wasn't because the boss made a special announcement about how unprofessional it is to be late! Alright, well I'm going to try to get up early tomorrow and get errands done so I won't have to do them Friday morning. That's all for now:)
I won't say as much about the other article, just a few things. It was basically about women who were excelling at their careers and making a lot of money who ultimately quit to raise their children. Now, years later, they are looking to get back into their fields and are having a hard time. I think what I didn't like about the article was that it pretty much seemed like no matter what you do you won't be happy. The women all seemed happy that they got to stay home with their children, but seem miserable now because most of them couldn't find jobs and the ones who did weren't making nearly the same amount as they were. The end of the article basically said if you can keep your great high paying job, but only work part time and raise your children then you will be happy! Who can do that? Ugh, it was annoying me.
So let's see I started my day off pretty grumpy because I was still brooding about the previous nights discovery of my boyfriends horrific schedule. We had an argument initiated by me and that's just a sucky way to start any day. I can be really difficult sometimes and I think the reason is because I just can't hide my feelings. I'm just not going to pretend I'm happy when I'm not. Anyway, without me knowing I ignored his texts all day because it seems my phone is on a 6 hour delay. I was just cleaning up around the house and spending time with my dog this morning because it's her Birthday. I gave her the present which I bought her, then the present my Mom got her, then finally the present my sister got her. She was very happy!
I'm starting to panic because I'm starting to run low on soap so a trip to Target is going to be necessary. This is the hard part which I wish I could stop....it internally pains me when I think about how much soap I went through in only 2 weeks. To be honest I probably went through more soap than most people do in a year. I have never written that statement before and re-reading it is very sobering. That's what this blog was supposed to help though....putting it all out there so I can visualize just how "not normal" my situation is. A few weeks ago I was giving myself limits on how much soap I could use in an allotted time period and I haven't done that recently. That could be my first step....it's just hard. That's the problem right there....it's HARD. This disorder plagues most of my time already and instead of fighting against it, it just becomes easier to go through the motions. I become a victim to the rituals and obsessive thoughts and any progress I have previously made goes right out the window. I just need to put my dukes up and start fighting it back again. I realize it's never going to go away completely, but I need to try harder.
Maybe I do need to go back to therapy or start taking the Luvox that's sitting on my windowsill staring at me...."take me, take me"....is what it's saying. My PCP gave me a prescription for Luvox CR a few weeks ago because when I was first diagnosed I got a sample pack of that and it seemed to help with very little side effects. Unfortunately my insurance didn't pay for it at the time so I switched to the dreaded Zoloft, which I stopped taking after only a couple of weeks. Now that the Luvox is generic my insurance pays for a pretty good chunk of it, but my biggest fear is the side effects. I was only on it for about 4 weeks before, not really long enough to notice the worst one, which is the fact it could probably make a sex addict celibate if they're not careful. These SSRI's are notorious for decreasing libido and the ability to orgasm.
Work tonight wasn't too bad, but it went by pretty slow. I was almost late for the staff meeting and I'm really glad I wasn't because the boss made a special announcement about how unprofessional it is to be late! Alright, well I'm going to try to get up early tomorrow and get errands done so I won't have to do them Friday morning. That's all for now:)
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Day Twenty.
It feels so good to have the power restored:) It's amazing how difficult live is without electricity! Shortly after I posted this morning my twin sister arrived because we had plans to go clothes shopping today. We spent some time talking to my Mother then she left to go back home. All in all I think I had a pretty good time with my Mom this visit....I only wish that the power hadn't been off so she could have enjoyed her stay more. I had to quickly take a shower when my sister arrived and I did a small amount of tidying up a bit. I really had to control my urge to put a load of laundry in today because I really didn't have time and I know I'm going to be alone the next three days which gives me plenty of time to get that done.
My sister and I went to the mall and it actually wasn't that bad. I notoriously hate shopping, I think because I am really self conscious about my weight and I never know what to really buy. The main reason I went was because all my "cami-type" shirts which I wear under my real shirts have ripped. They have started to look really trashy. I found some that I liked when I tried them on at Charlotte Russe and they were only $7.50 a piece so I bought four. It's going to be impossible to know if they are going to be perfect until I wash them and wear them a few times. That reminds me of the other reason I don't really like shopping because I get really anxious about trying clothes on which other people have as well. Ugh, it really grosses me out when I think about it. Obviously I wash everything before I wear it, but you still have to try it on! I also got a few other t-shirts which I hope don't shrink in the laundry but they weren't that expensive so I won't be too upset. It was really nice spending the day with my sister:)
We rushed home because my boyfriend was coming over and we decided to make BBQ chicken quesadillas for dinner. While I was cutting the vegetables my sister made the cake I wanted to make for my dogs fourth Birthday. I really am so lucky to have my sister because she helps me out so much! After my sister left my boyfriend and I finally had some time alone which was really needed. Unfortunately he told me that the weekend after this one, in which we were supposed to visit his brother, he has to work in the city. I was pretty upset but tried not to show it too much. I had even taken the following Monday off so we could relax a bit and not have to rush home on Sunday. I was really looking forward to getting away for the weekend and this means I won't see him that entire weekend....then of course I work the following weekend. It's hard because he's really busy at work right now, which I completely understand, but I can't help but feel very neglected. I realize now more than ever that if I want this to work I am going to have to deal with not seeing him as much as I'd like. However, I don't necessary think that spending too much time alone is a good thing for me. I should get to sleep, later!
My sister and I went to the mall and it actually wasn't that bad. I notoriously hate shopping, I think because I am really self conscious about my weight and I never know what to really buy. The main reason I went was because all my "cami-type" shirts which I wear under my real shirts have ripped. They have started to look really trashy. I found some that I liked when I tried them on at Charlotte Russe and they were only $7.50 a piece so I bought four. It's going to be impossible to know if they are going to be perfect until I wash them and wear them a few times. That reminds me of the other reason I don't really like shopping because I get really anxious about trying clothes on which other people have as well. Ugh, it really grosses me out when I think about it. Obviously I wash everything before I wear it, but you still have to try it on! I also got a few other t-shirts which I hope don't shrink in the laundry but they weren't that expensive so I won't be too upset. It was really nice spending the day with my sister:)
We rushed home because my boyfriend was coming over and we decided to make BBQ chicken quesadillas for dinner. While I was cutting the vegetables my sister made the cake I wanted to make for my dogs fourth Birthday. I really am so lucky to have my sister because she helps me out so much! After my sister left my boyfriend and I finally had some time alone which was really needed. Unfortunately he told me that the weekend after this one, in which we were supposed to visit his brother, he has to work in the city. I was pretty upset but tried not to show it too much. I had even taken the following Monday off so we could relax a bit and not have to rush home on Sunday. I was really looking forward to getting away for the weekend and this means I won't see him that entire weekend....then of course I work the following weekend. It's hard because he's really busy at work right now, which I completely understand, but I can't help but feel very neglected. I realize now more than ever that if I want this to work I am going to have to deal with not seeing him as much as I'd like. However, I don't necessary think that spending too much time alone is a good thing for me. I should get to sleep, later!
Day Nineteen.
This post is late....for the first time! Last night the power went out while I was at work, it did not come back on until 4am. I tried to use my cell phone but the website wasn't working and I was really trying to preserve power. What a horrible time for the power to have gone out too because my Mom is still here. She really can't catch a break this year. She was very upset and wound up when I got home because the carbon monoxide detector was out of batteries and had been beeping all day long. That of course scared the dog so much that she was shivering under the bed for eight hours. I guess my Mom thought the noise was the smoke detector and didn't want to have to climb on a chair to take it down. When I got home it even took me a while to realize it wasn't the smoke detectors. Anyway, she was really upset and I guess without her knowing made me feel very guilty about the whole thing. She hasn't had cable at her house for a while and was looking forward to watching some classic movies while here. Unfortunately that did happen:(
I won't write too much more because I'm going to have to post tonight, but other than that the day didn't go too bad. Work wasn't bad until the very end of the night when it got pretty busy. Prior to work I ended up reading those articles that I had wanted to and not much more. I have been bad about sleeping in so far this evening week, but my Mom is going home today so hopefully I can get back in the routine. I will write about the articles tonight!
I guess I should comment about how getting home in the dark last night was really bad for my OCD. Then to make matters worse my Mom was getting annoyed with me because I was washing my shoes off instead of immediately helping her. When I tried to tell her that work was really stressful for me she simply said "well you have no idea what I've been through". I guess I don't. I must say that I am really glad that she was here though. I would have been really freaked out coming home in the dark with no prior warning. Also, my dog would have been a mess in that beeping with no one home. My Mom also made us each a great big salad which we had with wine for dinner when I came home. Alright, until later!
I won't write too much more because I'm going to have to post tonight, but other than that the day didn't go too bad. Work wasn't bad until the very end of the night when it got pretty busy. Prior to work I ended up reading those articles that I had wanted to and not much more. I have been bad about sleeping in so far this evening week, but my Mom is going home today so hopefully I can get back in the routine. I will write about the articles tonight!
I guess I should comment about how getting home in the dark last night was really bad for my OCD. Then to make matters worse my Mom was getting annoyed with me because I was washing my shoes off instead of immediately helping her. When I tried to tell her that work was really stressful for me she simply said "well you have no idea what I've been through". I guess I don't. I must say that I am really glad that she was here though. I would have been really freaked out coming home in the dark with no prior warning. Also, my dog would have been a mess in that beeping with no one home. My Mom also made us each a great big salad which we had with wine for dinner when I came home. Alright, until later!
Sunday, October 6, 2013
Day Eighteen.
I had a fairly stressful day today which started off with me sleeping in a lot later than I wanted to. When I woke up, my parent's had just gotten up as well and I looked at my Mother's finger which seemed a lot worse today. It's hard to tell if it's just because of all the things she's been putting on it or what. At any rate I asked a friend if she knew of any urgent care centers and she found one right down the street to my house so I asked my Dad if he could take her. He did and it sounds like the doctor didn't really think to much about it and said it was the shingles. I am a bit skeptical so I encouraged her to call her own doctor tomorrow morning before she started taking what he prescribed. We'll see what happens tomorrow.
I was having a hard time with my obsessive compulsiveness this morning too, because of course with guests in the house things aren't the way I usually have them. I didn't do too bad though. After Dad took Mom to the doctors this afternoon I was able to put a load of laundry in and take my shower, which made me feel better. I also tided up a few things that were bothering me before going to work. When I have people staying with me I really have to work very hard to not freak out and starting picking up after them. It's so easy to get set in your ways when you live alone, it's really bizarre. When my Mom comes to visit me it's almost the most disruptive of all the house guests because she makes herself right at home and she's not very shy about telling me what I'm doing wrong when it comes to anything in my life. Sometimes I get very short tempered when she's around too which is the worst. I just try to tell myself that she only visits for short periods of time and being nice to her is the better thing to do.
I am really missing my boyfriend today and I can't wait to see him on Tuesday. We spoke a little while today when I drove to work, but not long. He does a great job of making me feel better when I'm stressed, which I was. Work was pretty steady tonight, but it went by really fast. Ugh, my hands look pretty crappy because of working this weekend I was washing them a lot. Tomorrow is Monday and I'm glad I don't have too much to do in the morning. That's going to be it for now!
I was having a hard time with my obsessive compulsiveness this morning too, because of course with guests in the house things aren't the way I usually have them. I didn't do too bad though. After Dad took Mom to the doctors this afternoon I was able to put a load of laundry in and take my shower, which made me feel better. I also tided up a few things that were bothering me before going to work. When I have people staying with me I really have to work very hard to not freak out and starting picking up after them. It's so easy to get set in your ways when you live alone, it's really bizarre. When my Mom comes to visit me it's almost the most disruptive of all the house guests because she makes herself right at home and she's not very shy about telling me what I'm doing wrong when it comes to anything in my life. Sometimes I get very short tempered when she's around too which is the worst. I just try to tell myself that she only visits for short periods of time and being nice to her is the better thing to do.
I am really missing my boyfriend today and I can't wait to see him on Tuesday. We spoke a little while today when I drove to work, but not long. He does a great job of making me feel better when I'm stressed, which I was. Work was pretty steady tonight, but it went by really fast. Ugh, my hands look pretty crappy because of working this weekend I was washing them a lot. Tomorrow is Monday and I'm glad I don't have too much to do in the morning. That's going to be it for now!
Saturday, October 5, 2013
Day Seventeen.
I had a very busy day today which included working. My boyfriend and I had to get up early because a friend of his was coming over to help him sheetrock the ceiling of one of my spare rooms. He also had to mow the yard....hopefully for the last time this year! I took my shower right away this morning to get it out of the way and I did some cleaning then went to the food store. When I got back I ended up doing a lot more organizing, I think because my boyfriend was so busy I felt like I should be doing things as well. It was really making me anxious actually because by the time they were done it was around 2pm and I hadn't even eaten lunch yet. We offered his friend lunch but he said no so I went ahead and ate my lunch anyway....I had to be at work by 3pm, so I ate fast. He did accept a drink though and after that they both left. Another thing which was making me feel a little anxious was the fact that there was someone in my house who didn't know about my hand washing, so I was trying not to make it too obvious. I think he could tell though because he had to clean some utensils in the sink and it was full of soap:( I felt as though I really didn't see my boyfriend at all today, but I was very appreciative about how much he did for me!
Work went fairly well, but I was a bit distracted because there was a lot of talking which makes it hard for me to concentrate. I guess it was one of those days where I sure wish I didn't make any mistakes:( I also splurged a lot on my diet....I knew that we would be ordering out at work, but I just thought I'd get a salad. Unfortunately the pizza looked like it would be good and my friend was really interested in sharing it with me so we got that. A far cry from a salad! I will definitely have to workout a bit tomorrow or I'm really going to be upset.
My Mother and Father were here when I got home from work and that was really nice not to have to come home to an empty house. I am a bit worried about my Mother because she is just overcoming shingles and she now has a weird rash in between two of her fingers on her right hand. She keeps asking me what I think it is and I'm not sure, it could really be anything. I guess my biggest concern is that it is scabies, but I don't know how she could have gotten that. Of course that fear is purely selfish because at this point if that is what it is I would have to get treatment too:( She is going back to the doctor on Friday, but that seems like a while, so I am going to keep an eye on it and maybe encourage her to go sooner. Apparently she is staying until Tuesday this trip which is fine with me because I really haven't spent much time with her. Every time she comes she asked me how long I want her to stay and it's hard for me to answer that....I mean I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I definitely know I will need a night alone with my boyfriend by Tuesday. Alright, that's it for now.
Work went fairly well, but I was a bit distracted because there was a lot of talking which makes it hard for me to concentrate. I guess it was one of those days where I sure wish I didn't make any mistakes:( I also splurged a lot on my diet....I knew that we would be ordering out at work, but I just thought I'd get a salad. Unfortunately the pizza looked like it would be good and my friend was really interested in sharing it with me so we got that. A far cry from a salad! I will definitely have to workout a bit tomorrow or I'm really going to be upset.
My Mother and Father were here when I got home from work and that was really nice not to have to come home to an empty house. I am a bit worried about my Mother because she is just overcoming shingles and she now has a weird rash in between two of her fingers on her right hand. She keeps asking me what I think it is and I'm not sure, it could really be anything. I guess my biggest concern is that it is scabies, but I don't know how she could have gotten that. Of course that fear is purely selfish because at this point if that is what it is I would have to get treatment too:( She is going back to the doctor on Friday, but that seems like a while, so I am going to keep an eye on it and maybe encourage her to go sooner. Apparently she is staying until Tuesday this trip which is fine with me because I really haven't spent much time with her. Every time she comes she asked me how long I want her to stay and it's hard for me to answer that....I mean I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I definitely know I will need a night alone with my boyfriend by Tuesday. Alright, that's it for now.
Friday, October 4, 2013
Day Sixteen.
I had a really great day off today....I feel like I got a lot accomplished and I managed to relax a bit too. It's amazing that my day turned out well after this mornings events though! Last night when I was at my boyfriend's house I was drinking some wine and wanted to stay up later than he did, so he went to bed before me. I ultimately ended up falling asleep on his couch. When he woke me up around 6am, because that's when he was getting up to go to work, I climbed into bed. Instantly I noticed a stinging sensation on my foot....I thought it was odd so I mentioned it to him. He said he had the same thing happen to him a few minutes prior....even though I thought we should check it out I went to sleep for another 20 minutes until he decided to get out of bed. I insisted we check it out before he left and I'm glad I did because it was actually a wasp in the bed! We eradicated the wasp and he went to work, while my dog and I went back to bed.
I didn't sleep in too late and I drove back home at a decent time because I had a lot I wanted to get done, the biggest of which was go skating! I ended up doing a fair amount of house cleaning and put up my Halloween decorations before I went to the skating rink. I did get a little stressed because I was trying to clean up at the same time and once I start cleaning the floor I couldn't stop! For some reason I thought it was a good idea to grab my dogs toys out of under the couch and I just kept finding more and more stuff to wipe up! I feel like I vacuum under the couch all the time, but it's always dirty:( She rips up toys so much that there's always stuffing all over the floor and it's hard to keep up with it all. I really had to push myself to stop cleaning so I could get to the rink on time. I did get there at a decent time and I had about an hour of good skating. Being on the ice felt great and my skates were sharpened last year so the edges felt great....it was much easier to skate this year than last when they were dull.
After the rink I came home and was going to throw a load of laundry in then take a shower. Unfortunately, I got really upset when I was pulling my laundry together because I found a little bug under my clothes. I got really freaked out because of my constant obsession with strange bugs around my house, once I determined it wasn't the dreaded bug I have spoken about before I calmed down and took my shower (I ended up doing an internet search and compared pictures). That whole ordeal slowed me down a tad but I was able to finish up with plenty of time to read half of that article I have been meaning to read. My boyfriend showed up before I could finish it, but it's really interesting so far. Once I finish reading it I will write a few things about it and leave a reference in case anyone reading this will want to read it too. The article is about our internal germs!
My boyfriend and I ended up going out to dinner tonight, which was really nice, date night you know! Afterwards we came home and tried to watch another couple of episodes of "Breaking Bad"....but he fell asleep after about 35 minutes. He falls asleep during every movie we try to watch too! I swear I end up watching most things by myself which can be frustrating. I mean, I know he's tired but when he's with his friends he can be up all night long so I take it a little personal when he can't stay up with me. When I bring that up he says that if you get him on the couch after 10pm he's going to fall asleep no matter what. Oh well, tomorrow I have to work....evening shift and my Mother is coming for a few days which I'm glad about. I better get going for now!
I didn't sleep in too late and I drove back home at a decent time because I had a lot I wanted to get done, the biggest of which was go skating! I ended up doing a fair amount of house cleaning and put up my Halloween decorations before I went to the skating rink. I did get a little stressed because I was trying to clean up at the same time and once I start cleaning the floor I couldn't stop! For some reason I thought it was a good idea to grab my dogs toys out of under the couch and I just kept finding more and more stuff to wipe up! I feel like I vacuum under the couch all the time, but it's always dirty:( She rips up toys so much that there's always stuffing all over the floor and it's hard to keep up with it all. I really had to push myself to stop cleaning so I could get to the rink on time. I did get there at a decent time and I had about an hour of good skating. Being on the ice felt great and my skates were sharpened last year so the edges felt great....it was much easier to skate this year than last when they were dull.
After the rink I came home and was going to throw a load of laundry in then take a shower. Unfortunately, I got really upset when I was pulling my laundry together because I found a little bug under my clothes. I got really freaked out because of my constant obsession with strange bugs around my house, once I determined it wasn't the dreaded bug I have spoken about before I calmed down and took my shower (I ended up doing an internet search and compared pictures). That whole ordeal slowed me down a tad but I was able to finish up with plenty of time to read half of that article I have been meaning to read. My boyfriend showed up before I could finish it, but it's really interesting so far. Once I finish reading it I will write a few things about it and leave a reference in case anyone reading this will want to read it too. The article is about our internal germs!
My boyfriend and I ended up going out to dinner tonight, which was really nice, date night you know! Afterwards we came home and tried to watch another couple of episodes of "Breaking Bad"....but he fell asleep after about 35 minutes. He falls asleep during every movie we try to watch too! I swear I end up watching most things by myself which can be frustrating. I mean, I know he's tired but when he's with his friends he can be up all night long so I take it a little personal when he can't stay up with me. When I bring that up he says that if you get him on the couch after 10pm he's going to fall asleep no matter what. Oh well, tomorrow I have to work....evening shift and my Mother is coming for a few days which I'm glad about. I better get going for now!
Thursday, October 3, 2013
Day Fifteen.
This is the second day in a row that I was super exhausted. To clarify, I am tired every morning but there was something about these last two days which just did me in. I can't wait to sleep in tomorrow. See, I have off tomorrow because l work this weeked! I am at my boyfriends house right now and he went to bed about an hour ago. This is the part of my job which can be very lonely. Tonight is really my Friday night, but not my boyfriends. I have gotten about as used to my schedule as I think I ever will. I work once every third weekend which then starts my evening week. My evening week alway seems to be "my" week, because out of six shifts I only have one night off.
Today at work wasn't too bad and I managed to get out right on time, which was ideal because I didn't want to be getting to my boyfriends too late. I tried to be fast after work....getting my shower done and packing right away, but I was having a bad hand washing day which slowed me down. I guess I am just stressed but I'm not sure of the exact reason. I got here around 7:45pm and we had dinner then watched two episodes of "Breaking Bad". We only have five more episodes before we finish the series.... which is so good!
I have a lot to get done tomorrow.... one of which is putting my Halloween decorations up. I can't believe it's already time for that! The other thing I want to do is to go figure skating. I have been skating since I was a little girl, but after college started I didn't have the time to really do it anymore and I needed a break. That changed a lot the past few years because I have rekindled my love of the sport plus it's a great way to relieve stress. I'm not sure if I go skating if I have to get on the elliptical or not....maybe I will just walk my dog?! I just hope I don't get too caught up with cleaning tomorrow so I can do all the things that I really want to do! Alright, well that's all for now!
Today at work wasn't too bad and I managed to get out right on time, which was ideal because I didn't want to be getting to my boyfriends too late. I tried to be fast after work....getting my shower done and packing right away, but I was having a bad hand washing day which slowed me down. I guess I am just stressed but I'm not sure of the exact reason. I got here around 7:45pm and we had dinner then watched two episodes of "Breaking Bad". We only have five more episodes before we finish the series.... which is so good!
I have a lot to get done tomorrow.... one of which is putting my Halloween decorations up. I can't believe it's already time for that! The other thing I want to do is to go figure skating. I have been skating since I was a little girl, but after college started I didn't have the time to really do it anymore and I needed a break. That changed a lot the past few years because I have rekindled my love of the sport plus it's a great way to relieve stress. I'm not sure if I go skating if I have to get on the elliptical or not....maybe I will just walk my dog?! I just hope I don't get too caught up with cleaning tomorrow so I can do all the things that I really want to do! Alright, well that's all for now!
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Day Fourteen.
I was so tired when I got up this morning it took everything I had to get out of bed and go to work. Once I got to work it wasn't too bad, I actually felt like I was getting some good work done. The great thing about today was how nice it was outside when I got out of work, that gave me the second wind I needed for my plans. On my way home from work I went to the food store to grab a few things, but mainly paper towels. I guess I haven't spoken about how many paper towels I use, but as you can imagine it's a decent number. I have tried all different ways to use less, but I just can't seem to shake the habit. I get really grossed out by hand towels and if I used them regularly I feel like I would be washing them constantly. To me, the paper towel is the most sanitary drying tool out there....I guess second to a automatic hand dryer, but I don't think they make those for residential usage:) At any rate, I also got some Airborne because I have been feeling a little under the weather and if I start taking it before I really get sick it actually works really well to prevent the cold/flu.
Once I got home I went pretty much right on the elliptical machine and did a full 30 minutes. It felt pretty good and this time instead of listening to The Gaslight Anthem on shuffle I listed to my favorite album right now, "The '59 Sound", from the beginning. That helped because I know all those songs and none of them, for the first 30 minutes, are slow! Then my dog and I went for another walk which she was super excited about. I wanted to try to run her for a longer stretch today, but I was pretty exhausted from the workout and I just ended up doing the same length as the other day. Ugh, that pretty much sucked though because I got that stomach cramp thing that always reminds me why I can't run! After the walk I did the usual laundry and shower....no clothes to fold today:)
After the shower was done I had to do the dreaded balancing of the check book, which actually went pretty smoothly and I didn't have any bills to pay, so bonus! Then for some reason I thought it was a good time to go through some old papers from work....this lead to me deciding it was time to sort through my purse. I tried to hold off on hand washing as much as I could, but I was getting antsy so I ended up doing it a lot throughout the whole process. Especially when I was collecting all the change I had in my purse and throughout various parts of my house. Money is so dirty....it's like the mail, so many hands have touched it! When I bring mail in the house I don't even like putting it down on the table, I sort it right away and throw anything I can in the recycling bin. The mail that I have to keep I take right out of the envelopes and put it in my mail basket. I hate getting involved in some of these extensive paper sorting projects because I have a hard time stopping. Before I knew it the clock said 8:30pm and I hadn't even had dinner yet. I cleaned everything up and made another buffalo chicken salad. I'm glad I went through all those things, but it ended up taking up pretty much my whole night.
After dinner was done I decided to give one of my sisters a call, then I spoke with my boyfriend and unfortunately I never got to read the articles I had wanted to read:( I am glad I spoke with my sister though, the phone call was definitely needed! I will hopefully get to the articles sometime the next two days. Tomorrow after work I am going to my boyfriend's house and I really haven't been there in a long time so I am excited. I told him I would try to get there as soon as I could, but I bet I won't be there until almost 7. Once again I have to deal with the whole packing ordeal and this time I have to pack my dog up too. With that being said I should go to bed!
Once I got home I went pretty much right on the elliptical machine and did a full 30 minutes. It felt pretty good and this time instead of listening to The Gaslight Anthem on shuffle I listed to my favorite album right now, "The '59 Sound", from the beginning. That helped because I know all those songs and none of them, for the first 30 minutes, are slow! Then my dog and I went for another walk which she was super excited about. I wanted to try to run her for a longer stretch today, but I was pretty exhausted from the workout and I just ended up doing the same length as the other day. Ugh, that pretty much sucked though because I got that stomach cramp thing that always reminds me why I can't run! After the walk I did the usual laundry and shower....no clothes to fold today:)
After the shower was done I had to do the dreaded balancing of the check book, which actually went pretty smoothly and I didn't have any bills to pay, so bonus! Then for some reason I thought it was a good time to go through some old papers from work....this lead to me deciding it was time to sort through my purse. I tried to hold off on hand washing as much as I could, but I was getting antsy so I ended up doing it a lot throughout the whole process. Especially when I was collecting all the change I had in my purse and throughout various parts of my house. Money is so dirty....it's like the mail, so many hands have touched it! When I bring mail in the house I don't even like putting it down on the table, I sort it right away and throw anything I can in the recycling bin. The mail that I have to keep I take right out of the envelopes and put it in my mail basket. I hate getting involved in some of these extensive paper sorting projects because I have a hard time stopping. Before I knew it the clock said 8:30pm and I hadn't even had dinner yet. I cleaned everything up and made another buffalo chicken salad. I'm glad I went through all those things, but it ended up taking up pretty much my whole night.
After dinner was done I decided to give one of my sisters a call, then I spoke with my boyfriend and unfortunately I never got to read the articles I had wanted to read:( I am glad I spoke with my sister though, the phone call was definitely needed! I will hopefully get to the articles sometime the next two days. Tomorrow after work I am going to my boyfriend's house and I really haven't been there in a long time so I am excited. I told him I would try to get there as soon as I could, but I bet I won't be there until almost 7. Once again I have to deal with the whole packing ordeal and this time I have to pack my dog up too. With that being said I should go to bed!
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
Day Thirteen.
Today at work I felt so behind; I really couldn't keep up the pace at all. I hate days like that because I go home feeling like I suck at my job and I'm going to get fired. I didn't do well at all with the handwashing today either..my hands look horrible. I think the main problem was that I was in an area where you have to wash your hands a lot and the soap at work is especially harsh. I need to have a better day tomorrow because where I am working I don't have access to a sink easily and I have to use Purell which is really irritating on sore, cracked, and bleeding hands:(
The plan for tonight was that my boyfriend was coming over, which I was really excited about however, he ended up getting here much later than I thought because he had to make a last minute errand. It annoyed me more than it should have.... but I was really just disappointed that I wouldn't get to see much of him. I get very attachy the week before I start evening shift because I know I won't see much of him at all during that week. He always tell me that I need to focus on now and not the future, but that's hard for me to do because I'm a planner. I will talk more about my planning issues another time:) After having a bit of an argument about the whole ordeal, we ended up having a good night together when he finally got here which I was happy about.
The antics of this past weekend have definitely caught up with me and I find myself more tired than usual for a Tuesday night. I guess because I'm getting older I can't have these wild weekends anymore-ugh, I hate saying things like that. There's a decent amount of things I want to get done tomorrow after work and the main thing is to workout. I felt a lot better today already after working out on Monday and I know it's going to help with my self esteem a little bit. Even if I'm not noticing results, I still feel a lot better about myself when I workout and eat right. We managed to stick with the plan tonight and have buffalo chicken salad for dinner, which was good and just the right amount of food. The other thing I definitely want to do tomorrow is read these two articles I have been meaning to read that my boyfriend's Mother had given me. Interestingly enough she gave me one about germs which I am really eager to get too! I will let you know what it is about....with that being said I'm going to bed!
The plan for tonight was that my boyfriend was coming over, which I was really excited about however, he ended up getting here much later than I thought because he had to make a last minute errand. It annoyed me more than it should have.... but I was really just disappointed that I wouldn't get to see much of him. I get very attachy the week before I start evening shift because I know I won't see much of him at all during that week. He always tell me that I need to focus on now and not the future, but that's hard for me to do because I'm a planner. I will talk more about my planning issues another time:) After having a bit of an argument about the whole ordeal, we ended up having a good night together when he finally got here which I was happy about.
The antics of this past weekend have definitely caught up with me and I find myself more tired than usual for a Tuesday night. I guess because I'm getting older I can't have these wild weekends anymore-ugh, I hate saying things like that. There's a decent amount of things I want to get done tomorrow after work and the main thing is to workout. I felt a lot better today already after working out on Monday and I know it's going to help with my self esteem a little bit. Even if I'm not noticing results, I still feel a lot better about myself when I workout and eat right. We managed to stick with the plan tonight and have buffalo chicken salad for dinner, which was good and just the right amount of food. The other thing I definitely want to do tomorrow is read these two articles I have been meaning to read that my boyfriend's Mother had given me. Interestingly enough she gave me one about germs which I am really eager to get too! I will let you know what it is about....with that being said I'm going to bed!
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