Day Three Hundred and Sixty Five.

    Well, this is it....my last entry on the "365 days of OCD" blog. I actually should have written it yesterday but I didn't have enough time, I felt, to write a proper last blog so I saved it for today. Instead of the usual routine of explaining what I've been doing all day I'll just take this one to reflect on my experience. First of all, it was probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to do! Not because it was a difficult coming up with things to write about but it takes a lot of time to write a blog entry every single day. I think I'll actually get to bed a half an hour earlier now! The other thing which made it difficult was that at times it was a chore, not a "cognitive behavior exercise". I don't think I've ever actually used that phrase on this blog, but that was the big "tool", along with medicine, which the four psychiatrists I used to see told me was going to help me get through my OCD. I started writing this blog because I thought by writing my everyday OCD experiences down it would be my own form of cognitive behavioral therapy. In a way it did help, because re-reading what I have written on some of my previous blogs makes me realize how irrational some of the things I do are. However, not every blog entry I wrote had pertinent OCD related things and in those cases writing them was just something I had to do, not that I wanted to do.
    That was the negative but now let's focus on the positive. I definitely think the blog helped me in a lot of ways to suppress my OCD. I think it made me more aware of what I was doing because I knew I would have to write about it later and I didn't want to have to lie:) It's embarrassing writing some of these things down! I feel like in some ways I used the blog in the beginning more to my advantage because I would give myself goals to obtain, whereas towards the end I stopped doing that. I think it's going to be important for me to continue giving myself goals so that I don't get completely lax and fall off the wagon. My life is going to be changing so much in the next couple of months and change, in the past, has been what has caused my OCD to get out of control. I can't let that happen this time because now I'm not only going to be hurting myself, but my spouse.
    The final thing about the blog which is going to be awesome is having a great journal of the last year of my life. Pretty much every single detail of the last year has been documented, even down to almost everything I ate! I've always been a person who has kept a journal and I still go back and read them when I have a minute. I think that my goal for the next year is going to be to write in my personal journal more. I kind of stopped doing that once I started this blog because it would have taken too much time to keep them both up. Another thing I can try to get into again is my reading, since now at night I can do that instead of writing my blog.
    So, that's all I'll write about for now. I would like to thank my loyal readers who enjoyed reading about my life and experiences. The responses I got were always really interesting and it was definitely motivation to keep going:) The End.