Today was hard. Today I went to LarkFest with my boyfriend, his brother and girlfriend. LarkFest is a festival on Lark street in the city where I live and it always draws hundreds of people. It wasn't hard because I went with them, it was hard because of the massive amounts of people who were there. There's something about being around all those people that always kind of makes me feel dirty. The most difficult part of the day was the fact that we were going to another persons house afterwards....okay so that doesn't sound that horrible to you, does it? Well to me it's the worst:( What if they don't have soap in the bathroom? What if the house isn't clean? What if I break the toilet? These are just a few things that go through my head as I dread going to a new house. Well, all in all, it turned out to not be so bad. They had soap, the house was clean, and I didn't break the toilet, but the anxiety leading up to going to this house was very hard for me to endure.
It really was ridiculous about how much I wasn't looking forward to going into a new dwelling with no real knowledge of what I was facing. At that moment I felt a complete prisoner of my disorder. However, I managed to survive the encounter and can now chalk it up to a win in the battle of OCD! I can not hide the fact that a huge part of the win today was the constant support I received from my boyfriend. I addressed him about how scared I was facing the uncertainty of the afternoon and he calmed my nerves by coming up with a code word which would mean we could leave if I was too uncomfortable. It boggles my mind to believe that I actually found a guy willing to do that for me. His constant patience, understanding and ultimate love for me has, without him knowing, become one of my biggest weapons against this horrible disorder. I'm sorry I haven't mentioned him until today, but my boyfriend is really something else:)
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