It's so windy outside right now that it's really freaking my dog out. She keeps barking hysterically at the sound which means I am definitely going have to put some music on when we go to bed tonight. Work was really busy today, I felt like no matter what I couldn't catch up. It was also meeting day Wednesday and I didn't get to go, which was unfortunate because it was about the new way we are going to be asking for days off via the computer. I spoke with a co-worker and she said it didn't really seem like rocket science and I should be able to pick it up:) I got coffee around 10am and ate breakfast pretty much knowing I wouldn't have time to eat anything for lunch which I was right about. I ended up eating my Fiber One bar on the walk back to my car around 4pm. Last time I was at the food store I got these huge green grapes and I have been munching on them for days, so when I got home I had some of those and a little thing of cottage cheese.
I was happy that I didn't really have to go out anywhere tonight and that turned out ideal because it was almost 5pm before I got home. I had all this mail in the mailbox which turned out to be a bunch of junky Christmas present magazines. It's annoying because I made that one mistake a few years back of ordering out of one of them and every year I get 10 times more! I ended up recycling them....I feel bad just throwing them right away so I kind of glance through them until I thoroughly convince myself they are full of junk. For some reason I had a huge desire to put the self clean on the oven on so I did that....it kept the house really warm all evening! I really thought I was going to get on the elliptical tonight but I couldn't muster up the desire to do that. I did do some planking and some exercises on my mat before I put clothes in the laundry and took a shower.
It was really exciting that I was done my shower before 7pm so I made myself a big salad for dinner with a chopped up chicken patty on top to get that out of the way as well. It was alright, my dog hated it because she didn't really get much of the chicken because there wasn't much to spare. All in all I had a very good eating day which makes me happy after all the candy I've been eating. Afterwards I was really excited to sit down and read my book. I got about an hour in and proceeded to fall asleep. I rarely do that, but I had a hard time sleeping Monday night and didn't get to bed until almost 12pm last night, so I think it was the combination which did me in. I guess I can say it probably has something to do with how constantly busy it has been at work as well. For some reason now more than ever I am really obsessing about the laundry and it has been driving me crazy. It's Wednesday and I'm already stressing about whether or not I'll be able to do another load before the weekend. It doesn't help that I have no idea what we're going to do this weekend either, so I have no idea how to prepare. I don't understand why I can't just relax about it, I surely have enough clothes to get me through several days. I guess it's just the thought of having so much to do all at once after the weekend which petrifies me. Ugh.
I didn't hear from my boyfriend until 9pm tonight when he said he was still at the office and that he'd call me on the way home. Instantly I was annoyed and probably shouldn't have even bothered answering when he called. I really thought that him being busy at work was supposed to be calming down now but I guess not. I guess the main reason I was annoyed was that I didn't hear from him once all day long, I really don't know how hard it would have been to text me once! I knew that the first ten minutes of the phone call was going to be him complaining about how busy his day was....then maybe he'd get to asking about mine. I was being more quiet than usual and after about 15 minutes in he did the annoyed "well if you're not going to talk then I'll just talk to you tomorrow thing". He went on this huge rant about how rude it is that I get quiet sometimes on the phone and blah blah blah. I forget I'm not supposed to ever be upset about anything. I just don't really know what he wants me to say because I am stuck in this rut of feeling that he thinks my life is completely trivial. The phone conversation was horrible. I also don't think he realizes how draining it is to finally be at the end of my day and have to hear how terrible his went....I may add that this happens almost every single day. I really want to be a support to him but there's only so much negativity one person can take, it would be nice to have a cheerful conversation every once in a while then it always being about how much he hates his job right now. The last thing is that this is one of my day weeks and it feels more to me like an evening week because the next time I will see him is Friday night. It's horrible to say but sometimes I really don't feel like I have a boyfriend at all anymore. That was a terrible rant and I'm upset I wrote it because complaining about a fight my boyfriend and I had is not the reason for this blog so I apologize. Good night.
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